Salvation | Severus Snape

Chapter 24 - Leaving

To her knowledge, Katherine had never really made friends in her own year during her Hogwarts schooling. She had been friendly to everyone in her classes, but there was nobody in particular who stuck with her. Usually, it would be a different person sitting with her in every subject and she found herself in different spots every time there was a meal. Hence, the last time she had been in this same position, on this same bed, waiting to depart to the hospital the next day, it was her brother and his own friends who had seen her off. They weren't particularly sentimental, since the Marauders tended to be more of a playful and laid back group. Still, she had been enveloped by warm hugs from each of the boys as they wished her well. She recalled James and Sirius joking around to cheer her up. Then there was Remus, who didn't run his mouth constantly like the other two, but rather, brought her books and sat with her so they could read together during his visits. And finally, Peter, who didn't say much either but still offered her shy smiles which she appreciated.

This time around, it was Severus. Of course, Albus and Minerva had also paid her a visit earlier in the day, along with a very upset Remus the previous one — after Severus had, with her permission, informed him, since she was too afraid to do it herself. But it was Severus who would be seeing her off to St Mungo's, promising to stay in the Hospital Wing with her until she was gone. Katherine wondered how he would act, considering he might never set his dark eyes on her again, after the next morning. She could never imagine him being like James and Sirius with how they messed around to cover up their sadness, nor did she think he would simply stay as silent and smile at her as Remus and Peter had back then. He was so serious all the time, she wouldn't be surprised if he started lecturing her about what she needed to make sure to do.

However, when he eventually showed up at her bedside in the night, her expectations were proven wrong. Not a word was exchanged as he rested in the chair beside her, deep in his own thoughts. If he were honest with himself, he had been dreading this night the most, more than any other time. Katherine, she was leaving him. Katherine, the woman he had fallen in love with, the woman he had sworn to protect... and now he was just going to let her go, relying on chance to await her return. Why was he so useless? Every time, he could only watch helplessly as his loved ones disappeared before his eyes. And every time, he had never gotten a chance to truly prove how much they meant to him.

How much they meant to him... that thought made his stomach flip. Sometimes, Severus wanted to just explode and tell her the words he had in his mind for such a long time. He had always dismissed the idea, thinking that it was dangerous showing his vulnerability, that there would be no point in divulging something that wouldn't have the same effect on her as it had on him. But now that he was right in front of her, with his final chance of saying anything he wanted her to know, he wasn't so sure he could keep it to himself anymore.

"Are you going to stare at me like that all night?" Katherine asked quietly, breaking the thin silence that reigned between them.

"I am not staring at you," he stated, though he definitely was now.

She nodded. "Okay then... well, are you going to sleep soon?"

For a while, it appeared as if Severus was ignoring her question, setting his obsidian gaze on the window behind her. He eventually opened his mouth to speak again. "Katherine, I have to tell you something," he said, "I..."

'W-Wait, don't," she abruptly interrupted him, biting her lip. "I know... I know what you want to say but I don't think I can handle it if I heard it out loud."

Severus blinked at her, his lips parted in surprise. Surely, she couldn't already know about his feelings for her? She had called him a friend since the beginning and deemed all their interactions as a close friendship, how could she have realised that he loved her even more than that?