Feathers and Flame // Dabi x Reader x Hawks

52: Tell Me Why

You weren't entirely sure how long you sat there.

All you knew was by the time you gathered the strength to move, the afternoon had already bled into the evening. One after the other, you picked up your knives and slid them back into the sheaths at your thighs. Every scrape of metal on concrete echoed through the silent space.

Dabi was gone and your search for him had ended.

You would see him again, but it would be different.

Leaving that place behind felt a little like you were leaving a piece of you as well. The version of you that entered was not the same version that came out. Your heart was hurting; his words etched upon it. But you were not broken beyond repair—you were a human with scars.

What would you do now?

Without the Commission—and without a need to find the League—you were free. The only desires left in you belonged solely to you. If you wanted, you could disappear to some remote edge of the world and learn exactly what it means to exist.

You could, but you wouldn't.

If you did, you would be leaving your heart behind, because it would never stray far from where he was.

And maybe, despite everything, you still wanted to be a hero. In his eyes, and in yours.

The streets were bathed in the orange glow of evening light as you strode through. Though silent and empty, they didn't feel as dark and hopeless to you as they did before. Maybe that was just a reflection, and some of that heroic optimism had rubbed off on you. The thought was amusing.

And how were you capable of finding anything amusing after the emotions you had just endured was beyond you.

Maybe you had lost your mind; it seemed a fair consequence for your questionable choices. Or maybe after tearing your heart apart and stitching it back together, only to test its seams, you felt an odd kind of catharsis.

If you could survive that, you could survive anything.

Even being honest with yourself.

You found Hawks on the roof of his apartment.

He sat on the edge, hands braced by his sides as he stared out at the world beyond.

Beneath the warm glow of evening light, Hawks was devastatingly beautiful. It was as if this time was created just for him; a shade between night and day. The soft waves of his hair glittered like spun gold and his sun-kissed skin shimmered with the same innate radiance. It ached just to look at him.

You thought he hadn't heard your approach, but then he said, "You came back."

You could hear it in the deep—almost rough—tone of his voice; you hurt him. It was as painfully obvious as the quickening pace of your heart. You were selfish with him.

"I told you I would," you said.

Hawks finally turned to look at you over his shoulder; the weight of his gaze stripped you bare. But it was the utter nothingness in his eyes that cut you the deepest. "Are you playing with me, dove?"

Hearing those words tore you open. You were so scared—so stupidly scared—of what it meant to let him into your heart. But you had and you never could have stopped it. Every beat of it belonged to him.

"I'm sorry I left, Keigo."

You took a step towards him, only to halt abruptly as a single feather shot towards you. It hovered before the centre of your throat, its pointed edge less than an inch from cutting you.