Feathers and Flame // Dabi x Reader x Hawks

18: Truths

The setting sun painted the sky in shades of tangerine and crimson. From where you sat on the roof of the Paranormal Liberation Front headquarters, the view was magnificent.

You weren't sure what drove you to that particular spot of seclusion, but perhaps you channelled some of Hawks' love for places like this. It had been a couple of days since you'd spoken to Hawks about the threat of Shigaraki's transformation, and that left just under a week since you'd last spent any amount of time with Dabi, too.

For once, you weren't irked by his lack of presence around you, given it was accounted for with his new position, though some part of you had missed the constant bickering that had become part of daily life. The space between you was bearable. Necessary, even.

That evening, you'd figured it was time to address the proverbial elephant in the room, and that was why you'd ended up on that rooftop in the first place. Ever since you let yourself cross that line with Dabi, you'd been ignoring that it ever occurred.

You could blame it on fear of your own emotions, but that wasn't it. The truth was that you were a selfish creature. Completely self-indulgent and careless, and you didn't want to think about what had happened with Dabi because you knew it never should have occurred, and you'd done it anyway. And that twisted little part of you lurking beneath knew even hindsight wouldn't have changed a thing. You'd do the exact same thing again.

The memory of his perfectly imperfect body pressing against yours flashed across your mind, and like the selfish creature you were, you indulged it. The brush of the breeze on your skin was the whisper of his lips trailing across your jaw, your vivid memories breathing his sin in your ear.

I'm hopeless.

Suddenly, you were happy the breeze was cold enough to chill the heat that blazed across your skin. Your feelings for Dabi were... complicated at best. You weren't even sure if you'd call them feelings. That was too weighty a word for you to admit to. And admitting that would mean far too much — would change far too much. But yet, some foolish part of you begged for it, despite the cost.

If you were in a different world, you might have let yourself adore how everything about Dabi said to hell with it all. That in stolen moments these past weeks you'd been so utterly free and alive. That you embraced that dark part of you that was always smothered and hidden. And despite the villainy, there was laughter and life and...

And maybe that entire monologue was self-indulgent. Maybe nothing was inherently good or evil, but society drew very thick lines between what they considered the definition of those words to be. Yes, you'd felt alive. But that lack of binds did not come without bloodshed. Without murder. You couldn't play villain for the parts that you coveted, and not commit the sins that you abhor.

Those bright turquoise eyes flashed across your mind. Dabi. He was beautiful sin, tempting the deepest, darkest parts of your soul to ruin. But he was also human. Also warped and broken and cruel. You didn't know what created him — created Dabi. Just as you didn't know who he really was beneath it all. Maybe you felt something for him. Maybe it was fleeting and without substance. Or maybe those jests and smirks and all that frustration had etched itself onto your heart. Either way, this ending would be the same.

Beneath it all, you were rotten. You would use this... relationship you had with him to your advantage. You would lie, steal and kill if you had to. If Dabi truly felt something for you, then you would play your part, devouring his affection until there was nothing left of him. You would lie to your own heart until there was nothing left of it, either. And maybe that made you the biggest villain of all.