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As weeks passed, the tension between Toji and I subsided. To only be emerged, in a relentless cycle of chaos. Arguments escalated to physical violence, followed by a heart felt apology's and then we would reconcile. It turned into, A never ending loop, the repetitive pattern blurring into a cycle I lost count of.
He was stuck on the same bad habits.... He would sometimes even beg.
"I will change." "Please, don't leave me" "I promise I will be better" "I love you"
But I never saw a change, I know I have to leave. But for some reason I love him so much, I can't. I am trapped in this Toxic marriage. Putting a child at risk, yet I can't find a way out. I know what to do, but my body won't react.
I sat quietly, only the subtle buzz of the Ac unit, interrupting the silence. My eyes glued to the paper in hand, emptiness behind my gaze. I read the papers, from start to finish.
A medical bill, with a diagnosis. Divorce papers. A note. Debt.
I laid all four on the coffee table in front me of, not sure what my next step should be.
*Buzz* *Buzz* *Buzz*
"Hello?" I pick my phone without looking.
"I won't be home tonight"
I sighed, ones again glancing at the papers. Toji was not making it easy.
"I work to night. I need you here to watch over Megumi."
"To bad. Figure it out."
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
The phone call ended.
"Mommy! This is delicious!"
After I picked Megumi up from school, I thought to treat us, to something nice. I dressed up nicely, and changed Megumi into some nice clothes. Packing a small bag with our clothes, and stuffed the papers in.
I shoot a text to Toji.
Husband
Me and Megumi will be out for The weekend. Sent 4:15pm
We come back Sunday Sent 4:16pm
"I'm glad you like it!" I watched as Megumi eat his chicken fingers and fries. The resort had a nice restaurant, and I'm glad I can watch him relax for ones.
I ordered a plate of loaded baked potatoes, with fried chicken, and broccoli.
"Why is daddy not here?" Megumi asked, giving me that typical sad look. "Oh baby, daddy is busy this weekend. So, he won't be home." I took a napkin, and dabbed off some ketchup off his face.
"Well I'm glad that it's just us!" He smiled.
I chuckled, and pinched his cheeks. "Why are you so cute!"
I grab my phone to see if I got an answer from Toji, but as always, I was left in read.
Megumi and I were having a lively dinner, laughing and hearing the little thoughts he had in his mind. I watched as his innocent eyes trailed off, his face now showing a bunch of expression.
"Honey what's wrong?" I turned on my chair, to see what he was looking at but I couldn't spot it. "Baby you have tell me, what did you see?"
"Daddy" he pointed his mall finger, at a table close to the booths. I followed... hoping he was wrong, some sort of mix up.
Confusion and shock, it's all I could feel.
The woman sitting in front of him, gently placed her hand on top of his. He finished it off by locking their fingers together. They laughed, and smiled at each other. Looking care free.
I started to feel anger bubbling in my core, braking the tranquillity, in the small dinner, me and Megumi were having. The poor boy, still confused. Knew something wasn't right. He has never seen, the expression, my face manifested. His small hand landed on mine, snapping me out the devils trance.
Toji felt like he was being watched, till he saw. His eyes beginning to widen, to the scene unraveling before him.
Then, his gaze met mine. That was a cue for me to leave. I was quick to put the money down, and grabbing Megumi on my arms. "Come on baby, we have to go." Dread hung in the air.
"Mommy what's going on?" He asked desperately, trying to make sense the gravity of the situation. "Why is daddy with another girl?"
Toji realizing, how bad the situation truly was, causing him to abruptly stand up. Eyes from everywhere, watching, as their family tore apart, with not a single word spoken. He moved with urgency, trying to reach them. "Y/n!" He yelled, in hopes she would stop.
Frustrated, I quickly yanked my purse from the chair. Tears threatening to make an appearance. I covered his small frame with my jacket, begging to evacuate the place. "Excuse me" "Sorry, got to go" hastily trying to reach the exit.
I held on to Megumi, hoping that this will somehow shield the poor boy from all of this.
I began to quickly push people out the way, feeling that familiar presence closing near.
"Hold on tight to mommy baby."
Ones I made it out, I sprinted without looking back. A sense of urgency, fueling me to keep going. With the child in my arms, you can only go so far. The bitting cold of the night, added an extra layer of challenge to my escape.
With one swift motion, Toji had cornered us. His strong arms, keeping us immobilized. "Where the fuck did you think you were going!?" He yelled. "I called you 5 fucking times! Are you deaf!?"
He punched the wall behind us. The blow sending shivers, to Megumi and I. Instinctively, I face the wall, using my self as a shield, to protect my son, from the chaos. Toji kept screaming insults, the situation up scaling. Self blame, gripping at me. Overshadowing the initial desire, for a calm and peaceful weekend, with my sweet, little boy.
I began to cry, my tears falling on top of the young boys head. Feeling a tight sensation on my chest, knowing I have to get out but can't. Toji's aggression just intensified, nothing I do, will make the situation any better. In a cruel gesture, he forcefully grasped my chin, compelling me to make eye contact in the midst of the turmoil.
"I'm leaving you" I choked out in fear.
Potentially being the biggest mistake, I have ever made, under pressure.
