I'm sorry...for everything

[2]

Sand was standing at the end of the beautifully carved white casket, the vibrant yellow sunflowers contrasting against the solemn scene. But his gaze lingered on the young man lying in the casket, motionless with his eyes closed. It was a beautiful ethereal sight; the young man only looked like he was sleeping peacefully, his face showing no sight of pain and discomfort like usually. Although he looked peaceful, his skin wasn't its usual tan color anymore. Instead; it had become paler, giving his face an unsettling calmness.

But despite all of that, even in death, the young man's features retained an otherworldly elegance, from the graceful arch of his dark eyelashes to the glossiness of his rosy lips, giving him a sort of surreal beauty that made it hard to believe that he was really gone.

The scene before Sand was undeniably beautiful.

Yet, there was one thing that quite didn't fit into the calm picture; the man in the casket wore a plain white T-shirt with "poor boy" written in big black letters. Nevertheless it was fitting for the young man lying in the casket because although the young man possessed material wealth, his soul remained impoverished, burdened by unseen sorrows and unfulfilled longings.

Yeah, the sight in front of Sand was only almost beautiful.

Because Ray was dead.

And this was his funeral.

Sand still couldn't believe how the person he had cared about the most had left him in a split second. One moment he was sitting in his kitchen apologising - Sand had thought that everything would go back to normal - and the next moment he was gone, leaving Sand to struggle with the weight of loneliness in a world where Ray was no longer there.

Yet, there were signs; the young man had been begging to be saved for a long time now, years, whether through his self destructive behaviour or just his sad and helpless looking eyes. The man had been begging, crying out for help so much that people from the outside should have noticed something- no, should have do something to help him.

But in the end no one did.

Not even Sand.

Although he had tried his best to help the other, he hadn't been able to help enough. Despite his efforts to reach out, Ray had pushed him away.

If Ray had only accepted his help and hadn't pushed him away then maybe things would have been different...

Better...

But he hadn't.

And now he was lying in a sea of his favourite flowers.

As the funeral went on around him, Sand grappled with the weight of his regrets, knowing that Ray's death had left a void that could never be filled. He could only stand by and mourn the loss of the other, haunted by the thought of what might have been.

While Sand was standing at the casket, he suddenly heard loud cheering from behind him. People were celebrating.

Why were they celebrating?

Turning, he saw Ray's friends - Cheum, Boston, Top, even Mew - laughing and rejoicing near the casket. What was should be a somber occasion had transformed into a festivity. Even Ray's father, seemingly relieved, wore a smile, pleased that his only remaining relative had left, freeing him from any further burden.

Amidst the uproar, Sand felt adrift in a world turned upside down. Ray was gone, and yet, here they were, celebrating his passing as though it were cause for jubilation.

Desperate to make sense of the madness, Sand attempted to shout over the raucous laughter, but his voice was drowned out. He longed for the noise to stop, for clarity amidst the chaos. Countless thoughts raced through his mind, a stream of unanswered questions tormenting him.