Such a strange love...

Artemis wounded Albatross...

Part 1. My Cruel Albatross

Sanem POV

We cannot always control the situation; it happens that sometimes the sky falls on our heads, crushing us with all its weight. It's good if we manage to survive and get out from under the rubble... It also happens that a person simply suffocates under this weight, breaks and crumbles into small pieces.

Yesterday, an absolutely clear sky fell on my head, and I'm not at all sure that I'll be able to get out and survive... Can learned part of the truth about me. He drove me away and doesn't want to see me anymore. I have nothing to say to him, nothing to justify myself with. I understand that for me he is already lost and, most likely, it is for this reason that I am so eager to talk to him, tell the whole truth and then get out of his way. After all, I have nothing more to lose...

But the great and ruthless Can Divit does not know how to forgive, he does not give anyone a second chance. This is exactly what he has been trying to demonstrate since yesterday - he looks through me, refuses to listen, refuses to speak and tells me to call him "Mr. Can" again...

His cold and impassive voice, his cruel, stinging words freeze my soul, make my heart cry. And the worst thing is that I see how bad he himself is. But would he allow anyone to get close to him? Would he allow someone to ease his pain? Never! Just for a minute I managed to attract his attention, just for a minute he looked at me to say: "You have a debt to the agency, so I can't tell you to leave. Pay off your debt and go wherever you want, I don't care." This is how mercilessly Can knows how to wound in the very heart, so much so that it hurts not only the one he hurts, but also himself. I looked after him and thought that at that moment I was ready to give everything in the world in order to free him from this pain. But will he allow it? Never!

So what can I do if he doesn't want to listen to me? I can only write him a letter and tell him what he doesn't know yet. And then, let him decide my fate himself. If I am destined to "perish," then let it happen by his hand. At least that way it will be fair. Despite the heaviness of this endless day, I felt better about the decision I had made. I returned to the office to write him a letter and leave it on the table... I can't give it to him in person... He won't take it...

I pulled out a piece of paper and stared at it, not understanding where to start... How can I fit everything on one sheet? How can I write everything I would like to tell him?! Yeah, what kind of a writer am I if I can't write one letter... And Can still believed in me, asked me not to give up this business...

"You told me not to give up on my dreams and writing. But in my thoughts there is only you, and I can only talk to you in a letter. I wrote everything to you in these lines. If you read, you will know about everything. You will find out who the real Sanem is. I am the one who lied to you. I'm the one who gave away the photos and that's the reason you lost your license. I was the agent you were looking for from the beginning. I know that you will never forgive me, especially after reading this letter. But I want you to remember me as someone who was honest. Although I'm already late, I want you to believe in the only truth - among all these lies, my feelings for you were real. Sanem, who loved you, was real. A moment spent with you is worth a lifetime! I love you, Can Divit. I love you very much and always will."

I looked at the piece of paper, and the letters danced before my eyes. This letter is my only hope, my very last. This is the same hope that remains when there is no longer hope...

My life now depended on this envelope, which I held in trembling hands and carried to Can's office. I put it on the table, in the most visible place, he should see it. And how can he not see it if the envelope bears the cherished letter "C.", the same one that surrounded me everywhere, which was my wish...