You're in Love || EN ||

You can hear it in the silence

I'm Addison Shepherd. And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband.

Those words plagued Meredith's mind since she first heard them – standing next to her boyfriend, her lover, her Prince Charming or whatever – uttered by his wife.

His gorgeous, tall, leggy wife who saves babies for a living.

How can Meredith compete with that?

Meredith tried to hate her. She really did. But it was just so hard.

When she found out Addison requested her, Meredith thought she'd act like a jealous and rightfully angry wife – grilling Meredith with medical questions she couldn't possibly know the answer to and punishing her with scut, not letting her even look in the direction of the patient or the OR.

But to Meredith's surprise, Addison was strangely kind to her - she let her examine and prep the patient for surgery, scrub in and even defended her when the patient was making snide comments about her.

Hearing Addison's confession about cheating on Derek first left Meredith even more confused than before, but she must admit it filled the gap she's been missing. Derek never talked about his time in New York or mentioned anything before Seattle. He acted like he wanted to forget that part of his life. If he won't talk or think about it, it never happened.

But it did.

It made her even more furious with Derek. He finds out his wife cheated on him. He leaves his home without a second thought. He meets a new girl in a bar, sleeps with her and wants a relationship with her, all while coincidentally forgetting to mention the detail of him being married. Meredith doesn't care that he probably thought his marriage was over. It wasn't over. Officially.

He made Meredith a dirty mistress. Well, now, dirty ex-mistress.

But she still wants to give Derek a chance. She can't help but still feel something for him. It may not be as strong as before, but it's there, refusing to leave.

But despite all that, from the moment Addison appeared in the hospital lobby, the redhead wouldn't leave Meredith's mind, no matter how much she tried to think about anything or anyone else.

Even Cristina's miscarriage couldn't get her out. Meredith was obviously thinking about Cristina, praying she would be alright, but that meant she had to pray for Addison, too. Addison was saving her person's life. And Meredith, overwhelmed by emotions, couldn't help but hug her afterwards. Initially, Addison was stiff, but she quickly relaxed, hugging Meredith back tightly, whispering that it was her pleasure to help.

Then, Meredith's mother was admitted to the hospital, causing problems for everyone. Everybody looked at Meredith like she would snap at any moment or break down crying. But she's fine. Really. Everything's fine.

Except the fact that Derek kept trying to talk to her even after she told him to leave her alone. He was everywhere, all the time, and Meredith was starting to feel exhausted.

Meredith noticed Addison was also keeping an eye on her but in a more subtle way. She glanced at her in the hallways, offering kind smiles and gentle whispers. Meredith felt eyes on her in the cafeteria, but when she looked up from mindlessly chewing her sandwich, Addison looked away, trying to seem busy.

The day Meredith's mother was discharged, Addison was waiting for her, standing next to the nurse's station. She was holding two cups of hot cocoa. Meredith walked past her, thinking she was waiting for Derek. But then Addison was calling her name in that soft tone she came to love, so she turned around and slowly walked back.