my professor, my obsession || cillian murphy

chapter two

Wednesdays stood out as a highlight in my school week, primarily due to having just two scheduled classes. The day kicked off with Professor Murphy's ENGL1B class at 9 am, followed by a leisurely pottery class at 11:30. During the 45-minute break in between, I typically indulged in a coffee and pastry from the student library's coffee shop, and an attempt to accomplish some work. However, this routine was disrupted today as I found myself too absorbed in the recent interaction with Professor Murphy. Even the warmth on my cheeks remained.

I found myself fixated on my computer screen, replaying every detail of the recent encounter. His smile lingered in my thoughts, an unfair display of awareness. It seemed impossible for him to be oblivious to the effect he had on people. Part of me yearned for him to acknowledge the impact he had on me, yet another part feared the consequences – the possibility of him reporting me, leading to the need to drop the class. Worse still, the looming uncertainty of his potential dismissal from the position added an unsettling layer of risk.

Lost in thoughts about my professor, a sudden realization struck that I needed to leave the library promptly to avoid being late for my 11:30 class. Hastily gathering my belongings, I raced out the door, sprinting across campus. While my pottery professor wasn't particularly strict about tardiness, my tendency to walk in mid-session made it a source of embarrassment.

Luckily, I got there on time and sat down at my usual seat. On one side of me sat Alexandra, who was my roommate before she joined Delta Gamma and moved out. Now living alone, I couldn't deny a tinge of jealousy, despite being content with living on my own. Although Greek Life wasn't my kinda thing, there were moments when I wished for the social circle it offered. Alexandra, being friendly and humorous, left me skeptical about finding new friends once she left our dorm.

Seated on the other side was Rufus, a laid-back sophomore with aspirations in pre-med. I found him incredibly easygoing, and the three of us typically enjoyed our time together in class. However, beyond that shared experience, we remained strangers. Not once have we ever spoken about making plans, walking to class together, studying together. It's a strictly in-class friendship that the three of us understand. I needed them, but they didn't need me.

"Look who's finally on time!" Alexandra exclaimed, her brilliant white teeth on display as she casually flipped her gorgeous brown hair behind her shoulders.

"Proud of you, Clem," Rufus teased, injecting a playful tone into the conversation.

"Yeah whatever," I playfully rolled my eyes, taking a seat and angling my chair to face them. "I tend to lose track of time pretty easily..."

Alexandra smirked, asking, "How was Lit? Professor Murphy still fine as hell?"

I couldn't help but cackle. "Of course he is," I admitted, "it's distracting."

"I wish I had him," Alexandra muttered, a hint of disappointment in her tone. "One of my sisters from Gamma has him and is basically obsessed with him," she added with a giggle.

"You guys are disgusting," Rufus scoffed, a disgusted expression spreading across his freckled face. "He's like 50," he exaggerated.

"Actually, he's 47," Alexandra corrected, mostly just teasing. We all like to joke around about Professor Murphy, obviously he's a good looking guy, but it was evident that neither of them truly grasped the extent of my literal obsession with the man.

"Wow," Rufus rolled his eyes, prompting laughter. However, behind the jesting facade, I couldn't help but take it all rather seriously. If I could, I would.

***

   The following morning turned into a chaotic ordeal. Struggling with a malfunctioning alarm, I awoke to the sun filtering through my subpar dorm room blinds. Realizing I was late for class, I hastily got out of bed, foregoing any elaborate attire. In a rush, I changed into sweatpants and threw on a sweatshirt over my t-shirt. Grabbing my backpack, I sprinted across campus and, as I entered Professor Murphy's class, his scrutinizing gaze met mine, revealing my disheveled appearance and a sheepish grin.