my professor, my obsession || cillian murphy

chapter twenty four

The longer I spent at home, the more I got used to the idea of it being just David and I. Each passing day seemed to ease any initial discomfort, gradually transforming it into a sense of familiarity. With only a week left before David's winter break from school, I mentally prepared myself for a Christmas spent alone with him. That specific day, my plans involved a trip to the grocery store, where I intended to make the most of whatever cash remained in my wallet. The bulk of my savings had been spent on tuition and books, leaving me with limited resources, especially since I hadn't yet gotten my job back. There still hadn't been any word from my parents, which no longer surprised me.

After David left for school that morning, I decided to go to the store. I took the bus, opting for public transportation instead of dealing with the stress of driving in the busy city, and as I was walking down the frozen isle, I spotted Hailey.

"Hey!" she exclaimed when she saw me, hurrying over with a basket brimming with snacks and beverages. "I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Oh, hey," I responded with a nervous chuckle, still slightly flustered from our previous encounter. "What's going on? Are you done with school already?" I asked.

"Yep, just got back yesterday," she announced proudly. "I'm hosting a small get-together to celebrate. You should join us!" she suggested, which would explain all the junk food in her basket. Instantly, I knew I wouldn't accept this invitation.

"Oh, umm, I'm not sure," I muttered, shifting my weight uncomfortably, acutely aware of my own awkwardness. Hailey's social skills and charm, which I envied. It seemed unfair that some people effortlessly embodied such qualities, while others, like myself, struggled to measure up.

"Come on!" she insisted, nudging me gently. "It'll be fun! Besides, you already know everyone anyway, they're from high school."

My stomach turned  at the thought. The idea of mingling with acquaintances from high school didn't appeal to me in the slightest. "I don't know, I've got a lot on my plate right now..."

She let out a sigh, then shrugged. "Okay, no pressure. But if you change your mind, shoot me a text, alright?" she suggested. "I'm sure everyone would love to catch up with you."

I didn't even want to entertain the thought of who might be at Hailey's gathering. High school was a time I preferred to block out of my mind; it was horrible, but in some aspects, it was simpler. Girls were mean, and guys were insufferable. Yet, with everyone now in their second year of college, I assumed that people might have changed. Despite briefly considering it, I knew deep down that I likely wouldn't bother texting her.

"Yeah, I'll think about it," I replied, mustering a forced smile. Hailey seemed satisfied with my response as we exchanged goodbyes, and she walked off with her usual cheerful demeanor.

On the bus ride home, I lugged two heavy paper bags filled to capacity with groceries. Upon arriving, my heart sank at the sight of my dad's car parked in the driveway, igniting a surge of anger within me. Hastily, I stormed into the house, neglecting to even place the groceries on the counter; they fell to the floor. My gaze met my father's as he stood in the kitchen, casually sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I erupted, seething with anger at his blatant disregard, his sudden appearance, and his apparent lack of guilt. His gaze flicked up to meet mine, and he emitted a weary sigh, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't give me that, Dad!" I interjected, my voice escalating into a scream as I advanced towards him. "You promised to pick me up, to talk to David, and what happened?" I exclaimed, gesturing wildly in frustration. "You never followed through! So why should I believe you're sorry?"