my professor, my obsession || cillian murphy

chapter twenty two

When Thursday came around, to say I was depressed was an understatement. I had all my things packed, a giant suitcase filled to the brim and two carry on bags. I genuinely didn't know how long I was going to be staying, so I packed far more than I originally planned to.

I had stayed at Cillian's place the night before to have one last night together before me leaving. I had neglected to tell him everything about my mom and my dad, only leaving in the conversation with my brother. Everything felt surreal, as though I were living in a haze, unable to fully process or articulate the whirlwind of emotions overwhelming me. Despite wanting him to know everything about me, I simply couldn't bring myself to tell him this.

By the time I was ready, I had barely any time to kill. Cillian promised to drive me to the airport so I wouldn't have to pay for an Uber or take the bus, plus extra time with just the two of us. My heart genuinely, physically hurt.

Because if the circumstances, Cillian told me not to bother with my final essay. He'd give me a good grade, and I did feel guilty about it, but he made sure I got it through my head that he wanted to. My other finals were only online, but I was almost sure that I failed every single one. School seemed to be the least important thing in my life. Right now it wasn't even Cillian, it was David.

It was around 3:45 when Cillian picked me up in broad daylight. Well, it was raining, but still, he was way, way too obvious. I didn't understand how he could be so careless about it here, but in all honesty, I was completely fine with that.

He even got out of his car to help me carry my things to his trunk, which made even me a little paranoid.

"Aren't you worried someone's gonna see?" I asked him, looking around even though most students were either in class or studying. But I could still spot a feel people around.

He shook his head. "Nope," he answered, lifting my heavy suitcase like it weighed nothing and tossing it into his trunk. He opened the passenger door for me and gave me a subtle kiss on my forehead, making me flush red. I saw him smile a little when he heard my soft giggle. And the fact that I was leaving crushed me even more now.

"So who's gonna pick you up from the airport?" He asked me.

My eyes widened a little. I really didn't want to lie, but if I told him it was my dad, I would have to tell him everything else. I couldn't do that right now, all I wanted was to savor these last few moments with him before leaving for god knows how long.

"Oh, um, I'll probably call a friend," I lied, feeling the guilt twisting my stomach. He nodded his head, but somehow he didn't seem very convinced. I wondered why, but I dared not to question it, fearing it'll lead to any further discussion of my family issues.

"Okay," he mumbled, still not sounding convinced. I had no idea how he could tell I was lying, I guess I was really just that bad of a liar.

"I wish you could come with me," I blurted, immediately regretting it, but when I saw that brilliant smile of his form on his face I lost control and kept going, "you would be so much help. I bet David would love you!" I knew it was all a fantasy. No way in hell. But it made Cillian laugh, and it was nice to think about.

"Just call me," Cillian said, putting a hand on my thigh, "everyday, every night, whenever you want, Clementine. I'll answer for you."

I put my hand on top of his, "thank you," I said to him. He just smiled to himself and continued down the road.

The closer we got to the airport, the more I dreaded it. My heart was practically pounding inside my stomach.