𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄// 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐀𝐔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔𝟒// 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐬

Nico looked around the table, trying to remember all the names of the Shade Council. He felt an odd anxiety just seething under his skin, but he tried to shove it aside and focus on what was being said. 

“The Tower for the Coven has at last been built.” A pretty woman folded her brown hands together, excitement sparking in her matching eyes. “They finally have the place they deserve.” Excitement rippled through the room. Alabaster grinned, and the woman turned to him. “When will you start getting everything into the Tower?” 

“Today, if we can,” Torrington replied. 

The meeting continued, mostly about resources. Hazel proposed wanting to form a stronger alliance with the Aureoles, and agreement was unanimous. Nico and Hazel exchanged smiles from across the table. 

“A quick question.” A man with salt-and-pepper hair scooted his chair closer to the table. “Are we ever going to have another assassin?” 

Surprise sparked in people’s faces, and glances were cast Nico’s way. He didn’t meet them, staring at the papers in front of him, something like nausea curling in his gut. 

“What would the point be for one?” Hazel asked, an edge to her voice. 

“Well, what if things with the Aureoles go south? What if they try to exact revenge on us, for our past sins?” 

“The Aureole Prince himself said he wanted peace,” Frank pointed out. “I don’t see anything like that happening.” 

“But wouldn’t it be better to be safe than sorry?” the man replied. He pointed to Nico, who bristled under his attention. “And we have the former assassin here. Surely he can just train someone–” 

“No.” 

The man stopped short at Nico’s cold reply, and the Council stirred. Emotions roared up in him, and he stood from the chair. 

“Absolutely not.” He glared at the man, who winced. “We don’t need another one, and I’m certainly not training one. I–” His voice shook slightly. “I’m not doing it.” 

His emotions morphed into something too close to fear, and panic made him clench his teeth. Oh gods, was he having another episode? He needed to get out of here. He murmured an excuse under his breath, before rushing out the door, ignoring the bewildered looks burning into his back. 

In an empty hall, he doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees as he tried to breathe. He needed to keep himself under control. He couldn’t–

“Nico.” 

He whipped around to see Reyna, who was giving a compassionate look, taking a step toward him. “Are you alright? You look like you’re going to be sick.” 

“I just–need a minute.” The panic tightened its grip on him, and he could barely speak. “I’m fine. I–I–” 

Terror crashed over him, and he couldn’t hold it back. He put his face in his hands as pain roared through his chest, dizziness threatening to send him to his knees. He sobbed, shoulders shaking with every pathetic sound. Weak. Why was he so weak? 

Reyna’s hand was on his shoulder, trying to soothe him, but he tore away, stumbling back a step as the episode left as soon as it had come. “Don’t touch me,” he snapped, trying to calm his thundering heart. 

“Nico–” 

“I’m fine.” 

Frustration tightened Reyna’s features. “Nico–” 

“I don’t need your help. Just leave me alone, okay?” He turned on his heel and marched down the hall. He was not going back to the meeting after that fiasco. 

☀️☀️☀️ 

He was curled up in bed, blanket thrown over his head as he counted his breaths. He couldn’t avoid his responsibilities forever, but he was certainly going to try. 

A rustle of paper next to him made him jump. He threw the blanket aside, instinctively reaching for the knife in his side table, but paused when there was only a note. He picked it up and unfolded it. 

Do you want to talk about it? –Reyna 

Nico bit his lip, before giving a sigh. He grabbed a pen to scrawl, Not really, before sending it back. 

The paper reappeared a minute later. I’m always here for you. 

I know, he replied. He paused, guilt threatening to spill tears down his face. I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. You were just trying to help, and I was being an asshole. 

It’s fine. Just please don’t push me away again. I want to help you. Another note appeared. Have you thought about getting help for what’s happening? 

What do you mean? 

Have you tried talking to a healer about it? They can help you. 

Nico stared at the note for a few moments, before shakily writing, I’ll think about it and transporting it to her. 

Okay. I have to go talk to Frank, but you can message me at any time. I love you. 

I love you, too. 

After sending the message, he stared at the spare scraps of paper in front of him, before shoving them into his side table drawer. He forced himself to take a deep breath, then laid back down on the bed, nestling into the blankets. 

He didn’t know why he was so resistant to going to the healers for help. He wouldn’t have held it against anyone else, so why was it different for him? 

Bryce’s voice entered his head. You must learn to be strong. The only people you can rely on are me, Octavian, and King Abaddon. And when we’re gone, you’ll only have yourself. 

“Get out of my head, you jackass,” he hissed under his breath, before closing his eyes.