[metal scraping]
Psycho Killer: I'm innocent, I tell you! Innocent!
Inmate 1: [kissing noises]
Chris: The Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbombs!
Inmate 2: Cram it, McLean!
Inmate 3: [laughs]
Chris: Ooh! Lightning slips past Duncan! The heat is on! Yeah! Look at that! That's what I'm talking about! Well, well, well. Look who finally came to visit me after a whole year!
Chef: C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste.
Chris: Whatever. Think I'll stay right here. Got everything I need. Including Chef 2.0. I made him from a cashew. What's this?
Chef: Your contract! The producers have greenlit another season. So, you in?
Chris: It is on!
[twinkle]
[ shortened theme song]
[Bentley fights Sam during the battles in the intro]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris: Welcome to Total Drama All-Stars. After my involuntary year-long "vacation", I really need to be in a familiar environment surrounded by the people I love. To hurt. [chuckles] It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part. Eh? That's all McLean. So, I'm bringing back fourteen TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying, one million dollar competition ever! And here they are now!
[helicopter whirring]
Chris: From Revenge of the Island, say hello to... Multiple .
Mike: [screams]
Chris: AKA, Chester...
Mike: [deep inhale] [as Chester] Yeah!
Chris: Svetlana...
Mike: [deep inhale] [as Svetlana] Yay!
Chris: Vito...
Mike: [deep inhale] [as Vito] [screams]
Chris: And Manitoba.
Mike: [deep inhale] [as Manitoba] Crikey!
[splash]
Chris: Mike's crush, pushover, turned power house, .
Zoey: Hah, Mike!
Chris: Athletic non-supporter, Lightning!
Lightning: You call that a dive? Watch this! Sha- [grunts]
Chris: Bubble Boy Brainiac, Cameron.
Cameron: This is highly illogical!
Chris: Gregarious mutant loving gamer, Sam.
Sam: Not cool!
Chris: Challenge-throwing dirt farmer, Scott.
Scott: [screams]
Chris: Bossy bruiser Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her.
Jo: [grunts] You're a dead man, McLean! [screams]
Chris: [chuckles] And... from our original cast, cranky know-it-all CIT, Courtney!
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Total Drama All Stars: My dumb self made ANOTHER self-insert
HumorThis is my obligatory sequel to my first self-insert "Total Drama World Tour: my dumb self made a self-insert" i hate this season
