Obsession Series 4: Sin Anderson

Chapter 19

NAGLAKAD LAKAD kaming dalawa sa gilid ng kalsada habang kumakain ng fries galing kami sa isang fast food. Dahan dahan lang lakad namin pabalik sa condo ko.

"Sorry if I dragged you at this hour." Sambit niya.

"No, it's okay. I'm not yet sleepy pa naman."sagot ko. Hatinggabi na rin kasi kaya siya nagsosorry sa akin, imbis na dapat magpahinga na dahil may trabaho pa heto kaming dalawa naglalakad.

"How's your date with him?" Napangiti naman ako habang inaalala yung nangyari sa amin ni Sin buong araw.

"I really had fun. It's also funny to think that I told him na hindi ko siya papatawarin but look at us, we had a date like we used to before. Parang walang nangyaring hiwalayan eh."natatawang sagot ko sa kanya.

"So it means, kayo na talaga ulit?" dagdag pa niya.

"Oo." maikli kong sagot.

"Masaya ka ba?"tanong pa niya ulit.

"Wait a minute, bakit mo ba ako pinuntahan Malcolm? I know there's a reason for that."sambit ko habang napahinto sa paglalakad, napahinto rin siya pero hindi nakatingin sa akin ng deritso.

"You know, Cana. For years na magkasama tayo, alam mo naman siguro na hanggang ngayon gusto pa rin kita. I did everything to forget my feelings for you, I tried to date with some other girls but none of them work. Yes, I fucked them but all I think about is you. I know that is really disrespectful because I was fantasizing you but..Cana. Kahit kaunti man lang..."

"Hindi mo ba talaga nagustuhan? I was there when you're at your worst, I was there also to help you to stood up, I was always there between ups and downs...yet you still love the man who broke your heart."

Nagulat lang ako sa sinabi niya, alam kong gusto niya ako pero ang hindi ko alam ay gumagawa siya ng paraan para kalimutan ako. Nahihirapan rin pala siya sa sitwasyon niya, hindi ko sinasadya na maramdaman niya ito. Si Malcolm yung taong sabihin natin na gustong gusto ng karamihan dahil mabait siya, mayaman, gwapo, halos lahat na ata nasa kanya na.

Pero parang ako lang ata yung babae na kahit gaano pa siya kayaman, kagwapo at kabait...hindi ako nagkagusto.

"Malcolm, I really appreciate all those things you do for me. For being there for me, ikaw yun laging andiyan pag kailangan ko ng masasandalan. But Malcolm, I only see you as my friend. A very close friend of mine, I don't want to ruin our friendship, I really treasure you. Sobrang bait mong tao, oo, but you know Malcolm kahit ako rin tinatanong ko sa sarili ko kung bakit hindi kita kayang mahalin gaya ng pagmamahal na binibigay mo sa akin..."

"I don't really understand why I can't love you the way you love me. I know Sin broke my heart back then, but I know there's a reason for that. My heart always beats for him, no matter how jerk he is, I know there's a reason why I still love him. And Sin is not just a jerk, Malcolm. I know him, so well... so Malcolm, I hope you understand me. You deserve better than me.." I smiled at him and hugged him.

"Please, don't be inlove with someone like me. I don't deserve you, Malcolm. Your intention is pure, your heart is pure and that's why I can't be with you. We can't be together, I love you but only as my very best friend." kumalas ako sa yakap sabay tingin ulit sa kanya.

I know he is hurting inside dahil sa mga nasabi ko pero mas mabuti na rin na sabihin ko agad kaysa sa umasa siya. Kaysa sa maghintay siya sa wala, he's a good man and we don't belong together.

I saw him smiling, he's forcing himself to smile "Cana, thank you. And I'm very sorry.."

"No, it's okay. I understand you." Sagot ko.

"No, I am not apologizing because of what I did tonight. I just wanna apologize in advance." I was so confused when he said that.

"What do you mean?" He smiled.

"Just sorry and goodnight." sambit niya habang tumakbo paalis.

Malcolm, why are they apologizing?

EARLY MORNING I already prepared all my things dahil ready na rin ako sa business meetings ngayong araw. Nilagay ko lahat ng paperworks sa envelope ko saka nagsuot ako ng formal clothes for today, I put a light make up and ready na umalis.

Pagkarating ko sa opisina dumeritso ako sa meeting room, nakita ko si Malcolm naghahanda na rin siya pero nakaupo pa rin naman. Napangiti lang ako sa kanya at ganun rin siya. Halos hindi kami nagkausap masyado nitong nakaraang araw matapos ng gabing nagkita kami.

Hindi siya mapatingin ng deritso dahil alam niya siguro na tatanungin ko siya kung bakit siya paulit ulit na nagsosorry nung gabing yun.

Hinanda ko muna yung tubig sa table, mga baso at pati yung mga folders. Inisa isa ko sila naka color coded lahat dahil sa colors ng folders na yun naka indicate or naka label lahat mga yu para mas madaling mahanap.

"It's almost 8 am. Mrs. Baladin will be here soon." sambit ko na ikinatango lang niya. Nag arrange naman ako sa mga pens hanggang sa nahulog ito kaya dumapa ako para pulutin mga yun.

Maya maya ay tumayo si Malcolm at biglang bumati ng "Good morning, Mrs. Baladin. Welcome back to Guzman's Company. It is really great to see you." Agad rin akong tumayo para bumati dito.

Nang hinarap ko ito ay parang binuhusan ako ng sobrang lamig na tubig dahil sa nakita ko. Bakit? Why is she here? And why her name is Mrs. Baladin?

"Mom?" gulat na gulat ako sa nakita ko at nakangiti lang siya sa akin na parang wala lang.

"Hi, darling. Miss me?"

"B-but..why? How? What?" Pasigaw kong tanong at natahimik naman ako dahil sa ngiti niya na parang may masamang binabalak.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Right, you left me at the restaurant because you're upset. Pft, hindi talaga maganda yung maiinis ka agad.. I'm your mom for goodness sake!" pagdadrama niya.

"But your surname is Mrs. Baladin?" she lit her cigarette before she looked at me.

"Your father died. So I found a new husband, he's a very wealthy man..wealthy than your father. So that explains everything, and oh he's also dead. Be thankful."

What the fuck?