Twenty
Exams were starting in a week and I was trying to read like hell. Adrian and the guys were also studying hard. I still didn't get it. They could go anywhere and do anything without the grades, so why were they trying so hard? I lay on my back, trying to memorize a few things. But my mind kept swinging in and out.
I had so many things on my mind. My life,my future, with Adrian! Adrian's life was another really disturbing thing. He'd promise to show me and tell me everything during the holidays, but I couldn't get anything out my mind. I was worried. I was wondering so many things. What was Adrian's world like? Why did Liam say it was really hard? Why did I have to promise to stay with Adrian? I was scared. I was very scared.
A knock came on my door and it opened slightly. Mom peeped in. "Hey, are you doing good? You need anything?" "I'm fine mom." I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Aww, you're really tired. That's enough now. Go to bed." She closed my books and placed them on the nightstand. "Go to bed." I nodded and lay down. "Where's Adrian?" "Oh! He's out, taking care of some business. He'll be back soon." She said covering me up. "Don't wait for him. Sleep okay?" I nodded. "Good night!"
She arranged my hair and rubbed my head,then turned to leave. "Mom!" She turned. "Are you doing well? You look better these days." She looked at me, then smiled. "I'm happy. That's why. I'm happy so I'm healing. Don't worry about me." She really looked like she was healing, but I doubted for some reason. I still nodded though and she left.
She was happy. Wasn't that everything? She looked happy these days. The sadness in her eyes eyes were gone. But she was lonely. I knew she was. If only Adrian's dad would treat her better, I was sure she'd come back to herself. I prayed for it. I really did.
Adrian's POV
I opened the door and entered . Mom was lying on the couch, watching TV, and hugging a pillow. I didn't know if I was happy, watching her, or if I wasn't. But I was sure of one thing, she'd been happy a lot lately. With Anila around, acting like a child, needing care and attention,at the same time being a comedic muse, one definitely had to be happy.
Was I grateful to Anila,or was I grateful to mom? I was nothing without them. I sighed walking up to where mom lay. Her eyes were closed and I knew she'd fallen asleep. I lay beside her putting my arm around her. Outside Anila, this was my safe place. With mom. I moved the hair from her face and kissed her forehead.
"You look happier these days. I was just stupid in the past. I didn't realize how much I needed you, how much you needed me. I guess we just keep learning from our mistakes. I want to make you happy mom. I want to make you proud. I really do. I don't care about dad. You're everything to me. You're looking better, and I wish you were healing but I know you're not. I know your days still count. But I promise I'll make them worthwhile. I promise you mom."
I pressed my lips to her forehead and left them there. Unlike before when her body was cold, I could feel a tingle of warmness meet my lips. "Anila told me the same thing." I moved back a little. "I thought you were sleeping." "I was, you woke me up." She leaned into me, I could feel her body was really getting warm. Was she truly healing?
"Anila told me, mom are you doing well? You look better these days." "She did?" "Yeah! I am doing well. I'm happy, so I'm healing. My drugs are working faster than usual. I'm really healing Adrian." I could hear both joy and tears in her voice. I could feel the tears in my eyes drop. Mom was really healing. If only I knew earlier, she wouldn't be like this. I held her close to me while she sniffed her tears back. I didn't want to cry in front of her. I sighed my tears back.
"You smell nice. Do you still eat cinnamon rolls?" "They are my favorite. My mom used to make them for my grandma. My grandma didn't like the food made by the maids. She preferred snacks made by mom. I used to eat with her." I'd avoided mom so much I didn't even know much about her. I should never have been like that. I should have found Anila earlier. Speaking about her, I didn't even know if she was asleep or not.
"Is she asleep yet?" "Yes! I put her to sleep. She was worried about you." I sighed. She was going to be seventeen next month. I wanted to make her birthday special but I didn't know if she wanted it big or not. I really could do anything for her. "What do you think of Anila mom?" I heard her chuckle. "She's a pure child. I didn't believe people like her still existed and because I've seen the world, I just can't help how innocent she is."
We were quiet for a while, then mom asked. "What about you? What do you think of her?" What did I think of Anila? "Anila is everything. She's cute, she's innocent and fragile. She's my baby." I smiled. "I don't like Anila mom, I love her. Everything about her is, really different. I love the way she talks, and laughs. I love the way she smells. She's so tiny I just want to hold her to myself always. Her fingers are very tiny, and her toes too. I love the way she argues that she's tall, the way she sucks her lip when she wants to cry. Anila is everything mom. She's my everything! I don't even how to put it in words. And she cries a lot too. I just really love her."
I didn't need special reasons to love Anila. She was my everything, she put me on the right path. I wanted to be a good person just for her. "You know mom, after Jake died, I made a lot of mess. I did things, all those things that made dad push me to a rehab. I hated my life back there. Then one day I sat by the window in my rehab room, and I saw a girl pass by. She looked dirty,worn out, distressed. I wondered how someone could be like that. I thought everyone had money,cars,fame. But this girl had nothing.
She used to pass by the way to her school. I didn't know her, but I liked watching her. Sometimes she looked neat, sometimes she looked terrible. I just wondered who she was. And you know, I suddenly wanted to leave that place. To leave the rehab so I could get a better view of her. I started to take my drugs, I started to exercise , I let the doctors work on my brain. I did everything I could, so I could leave that place.
I don't know mom, I think I was just really scared. Scared of something I didn't know. I wanted to her, I compared her with myself. I always wanted to be a better person and take care of her. Anila's made me everything. She completes me. I don't know if I need her more or she needs me more, but I want her. Why can't dad just understand this?" I felt very frustrated and tired.
"He's never understood Adrian. He's never! He never understood me either. But I understand you. I support you. I'll give my all to see you happy. Okay?" I was grateful for mom. And I was grateful for Anila too. I just wished I could sort out the things in my life soon. I just wished I could.
