Everything in Between

Chapter 20

May 2020

"Wow," Tom says, smiling over at me. "That was...that was awesome."

I roll over, releasing a satisfying exhale, still naked and wrap the bed sheets around me. The bedroom is cool; it's near the back of Tom's condo and shaded by a few maple trees growing just outside the window. Even though it's nighttime, streaks of moonlight breakthrough, and they catch against Tom's bare chest as he sips from a glass of water on his nightstand. The clock shows it's almost midnight, and I sit up.

"Yeah. Not too shabby for round three." I can't help but let my eyes skim the muscular lines of his bare chest before meeting him with a smile of my own. "I like goodbye sex."

He sits up in bed and then, after a moment, pulls me on top of him to straddle his lap again.

"It's not goodbye; it's more like ta-ta for now." I giggle when Tom says this, and he kisses my nose. "Your summer job only lasts for three months, and I plan on spending whatever time off I have this summer in New York with you," he says, and I fight halfheartedly against his attempts to press his soft, warm mouth to my breasts. "We still have until late tomorrow morning before your flight, so stop saying goodbye sex."

"I know," I say, fingers teasing down his sides. "I hate knowing I'm not going to have access to your dick all the time."

Tom laughs. He nods, and I lean in, kissing his mouth. He smells like cinnamon and sex, and I wonder how much convincing it would take him to have sex with me one more time before I leave tomorrow morning for my summer job in New York. I know it's only three months before I return to Ann Arbor for grad school, and we are together again, but I can't help but feel a hole in my heart knowing I'm leaving him behind.

Since our weekend at the cabin, Tom and I have been inseparable. The reality of knowing I was leaving for the summer pushed us closer together. My guilt over kissing Zach weighed heavily on my mind, and my anger toward him for telling me he was moving to California with Katrina hadn't faded. Tom became a perfect distraction.

I never told Tom how Zach kissed me and for a good reason.

The memory swirls around in my head as I take a deep and steadying breath. There was no point in blowing up my entire relationship with Tom because of one regrettable mistake. There was no point in causing more tension between Zach and Tom. There was no point in pretending our kiss meant something when Zach said it didn't mean anything. His final words that night still haunt me: "I just wanted to, before everything changed. I just wanted to know what it's like to kiss you. It wasn't romantic; I just..."

I had to accept Zach made his choice when he told me he was leaving to be with Katrina, and I deeply regretted my actions. I had been foolish kissing Zach.

Zach and I have yet to speak. This was the longest time we'd gone without any form of communication. It was painful, but I needed to clear my conscience and keep a safe distance between us. He had already left with Katrina for California, and I knew only because Cece told me.

I tug a little on Tom's hair and see him close his eyes, leaning into my touch.

"There's something I need to tell you," he says, and I feel the vibration of his voice against my lips. "I think you're going to like it."

"Okay."

He runs his finger from my hair to my forehead, nose, and top lip. "Do you remember when I attended the Level 3 Coaching Certification last month?"

"Yeah," I say, tongue peeking to lick my lips. "What about it?"

Tom laughs, but it's a little off. "Well, an old coach of mine was running the certification course. We talked, and he told me he had put my name forward for a head coaching job at NYU. It's one of the country's most prestigious Division 1 ice hockey teams. And he thought I'd be perfect for the job."