Everything in Between

Chapter 24

Present Day

Nadia and other colleagues at Friar McKinley Capital Investments filed into the board room, greeting me amiably before finding seats. I checked my notes, triple-checked my connection between the laptop and the projector system and waited for the last few stragglers to enter the conference room. Ice clinked in glasses as people poured themselves water. Colleagues spoke to each other in low voices, the occasional laugh breaking through the quiet.

I had never been so unfocused. I was about to give the most important presentation of my life. After recently acquiring one of the biggest clients in the firm's history, I was about to educate my colleagues on mergers and acquisitions and then delegate advisory roles to assist in finding the best investment opportunities for this new client.

This was the first time in my career I hadn't felt prepared or passionate for a presentation. It had been only twenty-four hours since I confronted Tom about throwing away flowers from Zach and the Zimmermans. It had only been twenty-four hours since I learned Zach had attended Mom's funeral, and Tom had lied to me. It had only been twenty-four hours since my entire world, as I knew it, had blown up in my face.

I needed to talk to Cece. I needed to talk to someone who knew everything about my and Zach's past. I needed to hear Cece's familiar voice of reason in my life. But mostly, I needed to hear her tell me what I feared all along: I was a complete idiot, and I needed to repair my relationship with Zach. I hated that I wasn't focused on my career for the first time and was distracted because all I could think about was him.

I'd been in the corporate finance world long enough to know there was no room for error. The people at the top don't get there by allowing their personal life to affect their professional ones. They get there through compartmentalization, big claims, and even bigger promises. There was no time for allowing my inner turmoil to take control of my head space.

These were the times I wished my mom were still alive. Just thinking about her brings a wrenching pain to my chest and tears to my eyes. Going back home to Ann Arbor to spend the last year of her life with her had been the best decision I'd ever made. And even though I am still grieving, I've suddenly felt unfulfilled to be back in New York and at my job, even when it provided some much-needed normalcy in my life again. Something felt off, and my outlook on life shifted in a way I couldn't exactly explain after Mom's passing. It's been challenging without her, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I wish the reason would hurry up and make itself known.

I knew I just had to get through this presentation, and then I could pack up my belongings and leave to head home for the day. I had to get out of the office. I needed to talk to Cece.

Thankfully, forty-five minutes later, I delivered my presentation and effectively delegated roles to my colleagues. As I ended the meeting and powered down my laptop, Nadia approached me.

"You did great," she said, touching my shoulder. "You should be proud of yourself for acquiring this client for the company."

"Thank you."

"I hope everything went well for you back home," she adds, watching me. "You look like you lost some weight. It couldn't have been easy to clean your mom's house. Promise me you've been eating."

I wasn't expecting Nadia to see through my hard exterior. I knew I had lost weight, and although I was neatly dressed and freshly showered, my clothes hung all wrong on my curvy frame. I knew I looked like I hadn't slept in weeks. I knew she saw the exhaustion on my face. I knew I was a complete mess; I had no idea she could see it.

"It was a lot to process," I say, voice low and trembling. "The week provided me with a lot of insight. And when Tom came by last night to return my belongings, it didn't go well. Let's say he was less than honest with me about Zach and the events surrounding Mom's funeral."