For What is Bought in Blood

Spirit Only a Father Could Love

"Your mother will have some choice things to say about this," Hollie eyes the dress I've chosen with worry lines etched in her face. This party is to celebrate the beginning of spring, with my mother encouraging all to wear fabrics dyed with wildflowers. This will create a garden of pastels and delicate dresses.

My mother wants nothing more than for me to be a delicate flower today. She sent dresses to my door of purples and pinks, perfectly fit for the virgin princess. I discarded them all.

The dress I chose was made by a modiste on the far end of town, much too deeply seated in the impoverished part of Arithia for most attending this party to know she exists. Hollie heard rumors of her work and how scandalous her dresses were, so I sent her out the same night to place my order. I gave her no instructions, only a chosen color palette.

The dress shape and neckline are those of my father's time. When he and my mother met, a swooping neckline and strong waistline were worn by all the ladies looking for marriage. While this modiste did not have whalebone, she managed to fashion a corset within that provides the desired look. With my breasts pushed to my chin and my inability to sit properly, I felt quite ready to shock the Lords and Ladies within The Capital.

Though the style may be considered outdated by many, it is the other things added that will cause many women to faint. The dress is charcoal grey with a complex layering of black lace, rubies like blood drops littering the top seam of the bodice. A slit rising up my left thigh leaves me feeling practically naked. This dress is not my first social middle finger to my mother, but it is the most potent one so far. I swish my dark skirt in the mirror and smile at myself. I strap a dagger to my unexposed thigh just in case Terran does show.

Hollie admires my form in the mirror along with me, but the frown does not leave her face. I know what she must be thinking, so I turn to her and wrap her into a hug. The comfort of her smell, lilac and cotton, settles my frazzled nerves.

"Do not fret," I whisper to her, perfectly aware of the bustle of servants outside my bedchamber. "If my mother asks, I will not mention you."

She pulls back, a soft expression on her face. While we do love irking my mother, we both know the kind of wrath she could bring down upon Hollie. She smooths my straightened hair behind my back and whispers back, "Please, just be careful."

I smile back at her, trying to reset my attitude to be seen by my mother. She points to the bed behind my back and I know she points towards the dagger. I nod, knowing she will hide it safely for me until I return. She kisses her fingers and places it on my temple, her farewell for me when she knows I will be in danger.

***

The brightness of the sun almost causes me to squint as I make my entrance into the courtyard. I am late, as always, and spare a glance towards the thrones. My mother sits, crown heavy atop her head. Ervan sits to her left in a makeshift throne of his own. He would dare call it an 'advisor's seat' to my face.

My mother does not spare me a look as she watches servants fret over the placement of her gown within the throne. She wears bright white, a symbol of her grief long passed. It was only months ago that she relied on me to ensure she was eating every day, and now she appears to be full of life and happiness. I can practically feel my skin crawling at the sight of her.

The lips that are usually painted ruby red are instead a soft pink today, bringing a youthful and flirtatious look to the pale faced Queen. She has also included blush in her ensemble today, despite the natural one likely occurring beneath it due to the traces of winter still present in the air. She looks beautiful in a way that stirs me. The innocence portrayed there, in her elaborate dressings that mock any wedding dress possibly conceived, feels so starkly juxtaposed with her compliance that it makes my head spin. Considering my own attire, I have unknowingly contrasted her as vividly as possible.