Strangers. (DNF College AU)

Chapter 12: Mistake.

♡Clay pov♡

George talked about other memories and life for around an hour.

"I think it's your turn." He told me.

"Okay." I sighed.

I glanced over at him before averting my eyes back up to the stars.

"I was a planned pregnancy, but they realized when I was five that I wasn't like other kids. God, I can't believe I'm saying this." I mumbled.

"What?" He asked.

"I would always play by myself instead of with other kids. I didn't even want to talk to those other kids. They took me to the doctor, and he told my parents that I was on the autism spectrum. Back then, I wasn't social at all. I barely even spoke to my parents. I've definitely gotten better at learning social cues and stuff like that but it fucked me up all through school. In middle school, I also got diagnosed with ADHD which didn't help. Sapnap was my only friend. He was the only one who understood me." I explained.

I looked over at George.

"So, you have autism?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Sorry if that's a deal breaker." I mumbled.

He looked over at me and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Absolutely not. It doesn't change anything about the way I see you. You're still the same to me." He stated.

I averted my eyes back up to the stars.

"I tried making friends, but it never worked. That was back when being social was difficult to understand. I would stand too close to people when I talked to them, and it made them uncomfortable. Of course, I didn't realize that, though. Sapnap never got mad or upset, though. He just reminded me to step back a bit. Even though we were young, it was like he understood exactly how my brain worked. It was so relieving knowing I had someone who could tell how I felt. God knows my parents couldn't." I told him.

I felt his fingers gently intertwine with mine.

"Then my sister was born, and things got even worse for me. They started completely ignoring me. They only cared about her. They didn't want me near her because they were convinced I was some fucking spawn of the devil. When she got old enough to walk and talk, all she ever wanted was to be around me. I envied her for the attention she received, but I never despised her for it. She was a baby. There wasn't anything she could've done. My parents gave up on keeping her away from me and just started ignoring her as well. I basically became her parent." I explained.

"You were only in middle school." George mumbled.

I nodded.

"I remember several times when I just broke down sobbing because I didn't know what she wanted. She would scream and cry and I didn't know what to do. I was thirteen when this was going on. I didn't know how to take care of a baby or toddler. There were some times when the crying was just too loud and I had to leave the house. God, I still feel awful about leaving her alone." I told him.

"Clay, you were a kid taking care of a baby. You can't blame yourself for doing that. You were too young to have full responsibility for a baby." He stated.

I shrugged.

"I met Jasper my senior year of high school. I remember how sweet he was when we first met. Everyone liked him. He was openly gay and I was proud of him for that. I was so surprised when he told me he liked me. Him and Sap were the only people I'd told that I was gay. I was too scared to cone out publicly. I still haven't told my friend group. I don't think I ever will. I don't even like them much, but they're in my classes, so I kinda have to. Otherwise, I'd have nobody to talk to. They're loud, straight white boys. Very stereotypical homophobes and transphobes. It's irritating having to hide who I am around them." I explained.