Aries - Sold their soul
Taurus - Chronic drinking problems
Gemini - The mafia
Cancer - Choked on a burrito, probably
Leo - Tripped on their gown and hit their head
Virgo - Drank bleach on accident (In their defence, they thought it was water)
Libra - Eaten by a shark
Scorpio - Killed by their partner's spouse
Sagittarius - Curiosity killed the cat
Capricorn - Allergies
Aquarius - From boredom
Pisces - Their psycho ex
