Spiraling back to You

Chapter 8 - Nightly Breakdown

Izuku barely even remembered what he dreamed about, but he remembered it being scary. Remembered being terrified. So much so that he was trembling even now. Tears were threatening to fall as his hands shook, slowly pushing the blanket away so he could get up. He stopped when his feet hit the ground. Normally he would go to his mom, but she wasn't here right now. Would Kacchan think he was being childish if he asked to sleep with him? Even after he explained his nightmare to him? Not that there was much to explain, he didn't remember. Kacchan would probably think he was a loser for forgetting and then whining about it.

Then he heard something in the hallway, and saw light peeking out from underneath the door. Was Kacchan awake too? Maybe he had a bad dream as well..? Izuku took a shaky breath, shuffling towards the door and slowly opening it, popping his head into the hallway to see where the light was coming from. He found Kacchan in the living room not much later, scrunching his nose at the weird smell. There were bottles everywhere, on the table, on the ground, on the couch, just everywhere. Kacchan was mumbling something, but Izuku couldn't understand.

"Did... Did Kacchan have a bad dream, too?"

That made the blonde look his way, his eyes big in shock. They were red rimmed, too. Kacchan was crying.

"Zuku," he slurred out. "When... How long have you been there?"

"I had a nightmare," Izuku said, taking a step closer, frowning when he saw the big paper on the table, covered by bottles both standing and lying down, covering it in the dirty liquid. There was something else there, too, but he couldn't make it out. "I wanted to ask if maybe I could uh... If I could stay with Kacchan? Only for a little bit, I promise!"

He frowned before looking down at the table, at the paper. Izuku walked a little closer again, his eyes widening when he recognized the paper. It was the poster Kacchan bought for him today! Except... Except it was covered in stains now... Stains and burns.

"I can't do this anymore," Katsuki whispered, rubbing a hand across his face. "I can't... I can't do this! I can't take this anymore! I can't fucking look at you!"

Izuku's lip trembled as he backed away, fresh tears welling up in his eyes. What had he done to make Kacchan mad? Why was he suddenly so angry? But then Kacchan started crying. He fell to his knees and started crying, his hand slamming down on the table.

"Stop looking at me," he cried, smoke rising up from underneath his palm. "Stop smiling at me like nothing is wrong! Stop leaving me behind! Stop fucking messing with me and come back! I can't- I won't do this without you... Please don't leave me..."

Izuku didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. He flinched when an explosion escaped Kacchan's hand. The blonde grabbed the poster, making the bottles fall as he snagged it up and ripped it apart, a loud cry filling the air.

"Izuku... 'Zuku, come 'ere," Kacchan sobbed, reaching out for the green head. "Please... Please come here."

Izuku was scared. He didn't want Kacchan to hurt him, didn't want him to yell at him. Yet Izuku still did what he was told, making his way over to Kacchan. He was pulled into his arms immediately, almost getting crushed against his chest. Izuku couldn't move at all, and he was scared he was in trouble.

"I don't wanna lose you," Katsuki cried. "I can't lose you, Izuku. Please... Please come back to me."

"I am right here, Kacchan," Izuku awkwardly wringing his arm loose so he could pat whatever part of Kacchan he could reach. His mom always rubbed his back when he was sad, but he wasn't able to reach from here. Kacchan was a lot bigger than him, after all.

"You're not," he mumbled, grabbing onto his hand. "You're not you, not the one I want you to be, the one I need- I need you here with me, Izuku. I can't do this- I can't pretend everything is okay! I can't put on a smile and keep telling everyone this is only temporary! Not when-"