Expectations (boyxboy)

A peek behind closed doors

Isaac

    After hanging out with Zeke I walked to my house next door. My father was once again, not home. My mother had already gone to sleep. I didn't feel like eating, but I forced myself to. I wanted to get bigger than Xavier. I lifted weights for a little while in my garage before going up to my room.

    I checked my phone to see that it was 11:24 pm. I felt exhausted, so I was about to go to sleep when I noticed something outside my window. In the window across there was orange and yellow and blue lights in the room turned on, illuminating what I was really staring at.

   Xavier was laying on his bed staring at his phone, touching himself.

   I started laughing an insane amount. What kind of idiot doesnt close his curtain when doing something so private?? I took my phone out once again and this time I recorded him. This would be an amazing get back at him for sure.

   I recorded him for about 20 seconds, that was all I needed. He was still doing it when I had stopped. I watched him and his face as he did. His facial expressions were kind of..No. Thats just weird. I suddenly felt like a creep for watching him, but I couldnt bring myself to stop. I then felt kind of relaxed. It felt almost theraputic to watch someone in such a private moment, like seeing things others dont get to see. For a moment I felt special to witness this.

    I noticed when he climaxed and after that I layed down on my mattress on the floor. No longer being able to see him I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, still feeling weird about what I had just seen.

    I didn't remember falling asleep, but I remember waking up in a sweat.

   I checked my phone for the time seeing that it was 2:56 am. I had woken up from a dream. I would say nightmare, but it was more sad than anything. I was in complete darkness and it was never ending. I ran until I couldn't breathe and I screamed for anyone at the top of my lungs, but no one was there. It was just me in a black void alone. Then all of a sudden my thoughts became shots. They were loud and they punched every part of my body from different angles all at once. I felt like each word was a shot to my body.

   "YOURE SO PATHETIC!", "NO ONE EVEN KNOWS YOU.", "YOU THINK PEOPLE EVEN NOTICE YOURE THERE??" "Your emotions control you.", "youre impulsive.", "you push everyone away." "YOURE GONNA END UP ALONE.", "Nobody likes you."

   Then a deeper voice different from my own spoke, "Thats why youre here. We're going to put you out of yours and everyone else's misery. They wont have to deal with you for much longer." And then suddenly the darkness seeped water, I could feel my shoes getting soggy, and soon my ankles, then my shins, then my knees. I sploshed around running in the water looking for where the water was coming from but I couldnt see anything, but darkness. The water kept rising until it covered my completely.I couldnt move anywhere, I was in an invisible box in the blackness banging on the glass as the water rose over my head. I started choking in the water, and that was when I woke up.

   I sat up still sweaty from my depressing dream. I cracked open my window to feel the cool air send chills down my arms and face. I looked out to the window facing mine. It was dark except for a small blue light in his room. I could only see dark shadows and what seemed to be a body covered by a blanket. I started feeling guilty for what I had seen, and what I had also recorded.

   I opened my phone to watch the video, not even sure why. It was worse quality in my phone but rewatching it played the images in my head from what I had seen. I began to feel hot, even as the cool air filled my room.