-A Lie
I decided to focus on family, choosing to believe-and have faith-that everything else would fall into place. I wasn't comfortable-or good-at lying to her.
So, when Samantha surprised me one day by swallowing her pride and asking directly if a...
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I don't miss being young. I do miss the excitement of believing in what the future holds and the ease of dismissing past events as inconsequential. Perhaps with age comes wisdom—or perhaps just a hardening of the soul. The end of a relationship, once devastating, now feels tempered by that hardening. The highs of passion are muted, replaced by what is often called "mature love." After Nina, I welcomed this change.
Once, my thoughts and writings on love were a source of inspiration. Today, those same words feel hollow and distant, stirring memories that were once vivid but now seem blurred. That younger version of myself feels disconnected from the truth, leaving behind a melancholy I instinctively push away. It's a vague likeness of who I was—a version of me I can barely recognize or hold onto.
It was a blissfully naïve delusion—a fantasy I clung to far too long.
I imagine most of us, as we reflect on our lives, stop at certain moments. There are actions we took, decisions made, that at the time seemed erratic or out of character. Yet, in hindsight, they form a predictable map to who we are today. For most, the insecurity of youth eventually quiets, silenced by even the smallest successes. Volatility gives way to stability.
We move through life thinking we know who we are, yet remain uncertain of why.
