[18+]
"I would get the chance to leave you only if we were together. Soojin, we were never together. All this is just a bargain."
In which Bang Chan has a forced secret affair with a stay, but things aren't as happy and sane as they seem.
- a Bang...
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With Chan's careful hands dealing with Soojin's damaged psyche, weeks passed.
It was the second month of her pregnancy when the bump was slightly visible to her if she stared at her stomach too much. The eighth week had just begun, and the nausea had worsened quite a lot already. As she stared at her belly in the mirror in her room, someone knocked on the door.
"Coming!" she called out, fixing her t-shirt and tucking it in the hem of her jeans. As she opened the door of her room, she saw Chan standing there, donning a black hoodie and a baseball cap with his favorite shorts.
"Oh, hi," she meekly spoke, not having expected him there all of a sudden.
If she had to be honest, she was witnessing the change in Bang Chan. Although he had always been a compassionate and caring person, she had not seen that side of him much before the pregnancy, thanks to the circumstances they had met in. Now, he was trying so hard to be a loving partner to her, even though there was just a sliver of romantic feelings between them. She did not like to acknowledge those feelings, because the trauma of falling in love with the same man was taking a toll on her. However, she did not want to ignore them either; it was a confounding thought, but she felt the attachment to him that she had been harboring for years, even though it had lessened quite a bit because of their complex relationship.
Yet, she greatly appreciated Chan's efforts and care. He had been careful and loving with her for the past two months, and if she had a bad memory, she wouldn't even be able to remember those darker times they had shared. The trauma existed, yes, but she was willing to eliminate it from her heart, for the two had decided upon creating a hate-free environment for their child.
"Hello," Chan smiled at her, "Are you ready to go the doctor?"
"The appointment was today?" Soojin gaped at him, having forgotten completely about it. She checked the date on her phone, and sighed, "I'm sorry, I forgot."
"We still have a few minutes. You think you can get ready in five?"
"Yes, sure."
Five minutes later, Soojin walked out of the dorm to the car, where Chan was waiting for her. She sat in and strapped herself, and the two started their journey.
The car ride was more or less silent, and they reached the gynaecologist's clinic in ten minutes. The clinic had made a deal with JYPE to keep the information of Soojin's pregnancy a secret, and so, it was a safe zone when the two walked in.
"Good morning, Soojin and Chan," Doctor Kang greeted them, "Are you ready for your ultrasound?"
"Yes," she nodded.
Truth to be told, Soojin was afraid of the ultrasound, even though this was the second time she was going through one. As she wore the hospital outfit, she thought about everything going wrong during the ultrasound, even though there was nothing that could possibly go wrong. She walked into the chamber, where Chan was waiting for her, and he held her hand to help her up to the bed.
"Thanks," she stiffly smiled, mind still stressed because of the fear of the ultrasound.
"Hey, relax," Chan had left her hand long ago, "Nothing will go wrong. I'm here, hm?"
"Can you..."
"Hm?"
"Can you hold my hand, please..." her eyes were fixated on his pale hand, and he did not waste another second in gently grabbing her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers. She eased up quite a bit before Doctor Kang walked in with her file, and seeing their hands clutched, she chuckled, "It's alright, Soojin. This is safe."
"I know, but..."
Chan and Doctor Kang shared a look, and then laughed. The doctor spoke, "You two are adorable."
Chan's smile thinned into a flat line, and Soojin awkwardly accepted the compliment, "Thank you, Doctor."
"Now let me apply the gel," as the doctor raised her top to reveal her stomach, Soojin gulped in anxiety. The doctor applied the cold gel on her belly, and Chan averted his eyes.
He could not lay eyes on her body unless she allowed him to. He had learned that much.
"See that?" the doctor had set the devices, and there was a picture on the screen, displaying a fetus, "That's your baby."
Chan eagerly watched the screen as a small fetus barely moved inside Soojin, and she gasped, "Wow..."
"The fingers, toes, and the eyes are forming now," Doctor Kang explained, "Your baby is developing slowly but steadily."
The fetus had not even fully formed yet, but Chan, upon staring at the screen, was already beginning to get attached. That was his baby. He had never pictured becoming a father, but now that he was on the path of becoming one, the anxiety was bubbling up inside him, and so was delight. Although this was not the scenario he had imagined in his wildest dreams, he was going to become a father, and it was happening.
He looked down at Soojin, and realized that she was looking at him with stars in her eyes. He smiled widely at her, and his grip on her hand tightened.
And he was glad when he felt her tighten the grip, too.
(a/n: okay, so we got our first hater, guys!! Someone made a questionable chapter about this book, sort of demeaning it, and this morning, someone else sent me hate messages in my private messages, and all that stemmed from this book. But oh, well, nobody can stop me from writing this, or anything in general. I refuse to be stopped.
