Not a Valentine

Chapter 15

Do you sometimes have episodes of your life where you are so mad at the world for not being able to control it?

I'm texting Ranger at lunch. There isn't much energy around the table as Quincy is busy finishing up an assignment. I tried to have a conversation with her and offered to do her assignment for her, but she told me she needed practice for the upcoming test we will be having.

I wasn't even aware of a test, but then I remembered that I'm not taking the same class as her. I got lucky enough to take the class she was taking last year, which is why I offered to do her assignment for her in the first place. I'm not sure why both of those things didn't match up in my head. As it turned out, I was still angry about the whole website thing in the office today.

You say control it. Control your emotions, or control the world?

The latter.
I hate not being able to have control of the world.

I mean, I get it. I just learned that the world doesn't fall in your favor all the time, so I got used to it. But for you, it seems different; why's that?

I've always believed that I could be in control of how things turned out. I mean, my upbringing was based on that. My parents lived an unfortunate life, but their predicament never got in the way. They taught me how to control my surroundings in a way where life will fall—not perfectly, but okay enough.

Your parents had a point in how they raised you, but there are some things that are out of your control.

Yeah, and I hate it.

You're a control freak, huh, Ray?

Way more than I'd like to admit, Ranger.

Well, then, that's just something you need to get used to.

Well, I don't want to.

Nobody does. But there's nothing you can do, so how do you get angry about something you can't control? That's not healthy.

Thank you. A lot of people like to tell me my anger issues aren't healthy for me.

Well

I don't like this conversation, Ramger.

You started it.

I laughed out loud, causing Quincy to elbow me, as she wanted to know why. I give her a shrug, and she shifts her attention back to the task at hand. She was almost done with the assignment.

So, how is it going with your girl?

Not mine, and I'm afraid I'm losing my chance.

What made you say that?

She's interested in another guy.

I'm sorry.