Romanoff's girl

Chapter 44

*Nat's POV*

" I want to be an assassin" Rose blurts out seriously looking at me dead in the eye. I feel my stomach twist at the thought of her becoming everything I've tried so hard to shield her from.
"Rose," I begin, choosing my words carefully, "the path of an assassin is one I've walked, but it's not a journey I wish for you." I watch as determination flickers in Rose's eyes, and I take a moment to reflect on the complexities of the choices that lie ahead. "It's not a decision to be made lightly. The life of an assassin is one of isolation, danger, and constant moral dilemmas. There are alternatives, paths that allow you to make a difference without sacrificing your humanity." As we sit in the quiet of our living room, I find myself grappling with how to convey the weight of my experiences without discouraging Rose's ambitions entirely. "Being an assassin requires more than just physical skills. It demands a mental and emotional resilience that can take a toll on your soul." Rose leans forward, her gaze unwavering. "But, Mom, I've seen what you can do. I want to be like you, to have the strength you have." I reach out, placing a hand on hers. "Strength, Rose, comes in many forms. It's not just about physical prowess. It's about resilience, compassion, and the ability to make tough choices. The life of an assassin doesn't always allow for those choices." I take a deep breath, preparing to share more of my perspective. "When I started down this path, I didn't fully grasp the toll it would take on me. The choices I made, the people I left behind – they all come with a cost." Rose listens intently, her eyes searching mine for understanding. "But you've made a difference, Mom. You've saved lives and protected the innocent." I nod, acknowledging the impact, but also the shadows that linger. "Yes, I've done those things, but it's a double-edged sword. The lives I've taken, the secrets I carry – they weigh on me. I wouldn't want you to bear that burden." The room falls into a contemplative silence, broken only by the distant hum of the city outside. Rose breaks the quiet, her voice determined, "I know it won't be easy, Mom, but I want to be trained by the best. I want to make a difference." I squeeze her hand gently, "Rose, there are other ways to make a difference. I've been where you are, filled with a desire to change the world. But there are paths that offer fulfillment without the darkness that comes with this life." Despite my reservations, I can see the determination in Rose's eyes. The legacy of my choices, both the triumphs and the scars, is a weighty backdrop to this conversation. "If you're set on this path, training will be intense, and the risks will be high. But I won't stand in the way of your choices. I'll be your mentor and receive the weight of your training but I need you to know and fully understand that this means you'll have to endure a series of ruthless,gruelling training sessions which will test your limits in ways you can't imagine. Because the path you've chosen is nothing but easy. You understand?" I ask in a serious tone, my eyes piercing hers searching for her reaction
"I understand"she replies equally seriously and we share a couple of minutes of comfortable silence.
"So is this really what you want?" I break the silence,hoping my girl will say no, that she regrets it, but she doesn't
"Yes mom, I'm certain",she assures me and I can't help but feel a shred of...pride? But is certainly not enough to counter with the immerse fear caused by just the mere thought of having her go through so much as an ounce of what I've been through to get where I am today. But one thing is for sure, I can't be the one to shut her dreams down and tell her she can't do it. Fact is even if I did I know that being as persistent and strong-willed  as she is she would most definitely result in finding someone else to train her, someone who could be dangerous. Who knows where she could end up so I know better than to push her away. As painful as this is I have to mentor her and hope she changes her mind.
" I'm curious to find out how your aunt will respond to these news"I broke the silence in an attempt to lighten the tension and smile faintly
"I bet she'll be thrilled" Rose states very sure of herself and I chuckle at her blissful ignorance
"Highly doubt that! But we'll see for ourselves very soo-" I say and before I finish my sentence I get cut off by Rose who jumps up excited
"Whattt aunt Lena is visiting us?!!"she squeals happily since she has been missing my sister terribly ever since she left on that mission on Tokyo especially due to the fact that she was under her care all the past months while I was pressured dead,their bond strengthening even more.
"Yeah she is, she'll be here in a week but the thing is that once she comes,she'll stay for a couple of days and then you have to go with her back to New York to visit the others for a week" I blurt out, knowing she won't respond well to those news
"But- I don't want to go back there now mom! I just got my normalcy back and I want to start my training and above all spend some time with you,especially now that it's summer break"she whines and I can't help but feel bad for her because she is right, she finally got some stability after a whirlwind of earth shattering events for a 15 year old and she got reunited with me after spending months mourning my death in that place. I get why she doesn't want to go back but we don't have a choice
"I know honey but the others are going to get suspicious if you don't go....I'm afraid we are out of options here...Don't worry we'll start your training the minute you come back and it's only a week you won't even notice I'm gone" I say in an effort to comfort her,while motioning for her to lay on my chest and when she obliges I gently stroke her black curls
"I don't want to leave you now Mama,not when I've finally found you"she sighs revealing her emotions at last. I don't know if it is the fact that she got raised by a single-mom or it has to do with the unbearable love we share but she has been extremely attached to me ever since she was a baby and vise versa. We are inevitably each other's greatest weakness and share a connection that can't really be put to words
"I don't want you to leave now either detka but we have to look at this like a mission okay? Besides don't you want to see the others?" I ask gently while continuing to stroke her hair
"Loads of painful memories in that place"she replies a hint of worry in her voice
"Remember we made loads of good ones too...and besides you'll have Yelena with you so it will be okay. Remember if you want to follow the path of an assassin you have to push past your fears and get out of your comfort zone all the time" I remind her even though I know that she already has the strength to do that.
"I know, it'll be fine. Just don't do anything excited while I'm gone"she grins and I smirk
"Oh well nothing special just thinking of taking a short trip to France now that it's nearby...Been some time since I saw the Eiffel Tower" I joke and she playfully smacks me with her elbow
"Oh shut up mama"she rolls her eyes and we both crack a laugh, breaking the gloominess of our conversation. I then notice her yawn and slowly close her eyes, her breathing turning into a rhythmic hum against my chest and I instinctively tighten my grip a little bit around her, in an attempt to bring her even closer to me which isn't even possible. A few minutes go by and she is now fast asleep, my own eyes also feeling heavy, sleep getting closer each minute that goes by