love you later | yeonbin ✓

001

It doesn't come as a shock.

Doesn't knock the air from his lungs or make him falter in his movements. He has heard the words: "I'm breaking up with you" one too many times for them to fully hit.

Sometimes, it is a slightly kinder: "It's not you, it's me" situation. Other times there is no talking at all, just the gaping absence of a person who was supposed to stay. A missing sweater on the armchair across the room wouldn't worry him on any other day. It's the collection of things missing a sweater, some books, a piece of jewelry, or a bottle of shampoo that he got used to seeing on the shelf in his shower - that tells him that someone had decided it was time to end their relationship without having the decency to fill him in.

None of it surprises Soobin anymore. He's been here too many times before. At this point, he's prepared. For people to grow tired of him, for things to not go the way his foolishly hopeful heart had imagined them.

In some sick sense, he has started to welcome the pain over the past few years. It wasn't exactly a sharp pain, he couldn't feel his heart shattering in his chest. Instead, it was a paper cut. A pesky little thing, confirming what he already knew. Just barely there, almost invisible but a constant reminder. The dull ache of knowing he as a person was not a good enough reason to stay.

Not when the stupid red string didn't manifest where it was supposed to be wrapped around the little finger on his left hand. Not when the little gap in his soulmate mark, a little red ring inked into his skin like a tattoo, didn't connect all the way.

He carries those experiences around with him, each year growing a little more tired, his heart struggling to hold on to the hope that this was it, he had found his person and this time they would stay. They had to.

And yet, he is once again faced with the inevitable. This time, it's not just an I think we should break up. It's an I have met someone else and since we're clearly not meant to be, I don't need you anymore.

Soobin wants to laugh in Jeonghoon's face. Wants to call him out on his bluff as they're standing in the middle of Soobin's living room, wants to say: "Good one, darling, let's make breakfast", wants to pull him in and enjoy his birthday, pretend just a little longer.

But then his eyes fall on the packed suitcase standing near the front door and he knows this isn't a joke. Probably wasn't even a spontaneous decision.

"How long?"

Soobin has to give it to Jeonghoon, at least he doesn't play dumb.

"About three months."

Three months. Three months of Soobin thinking everything was fine, of calming his jittering nerves with the thought that Jeonghoon really loved him as his birthday crept closer, while he was off sleeping with someone else.

Soobin doesn't bother asking for a name. It's insignificant, doesn't change anything about the betrayal.

"Leave."

Jeonghoon doesn't argue, doesn't apologize. Just grabs his suitcase and lets the door fall shut behind him.

The sound echoes through Soobin's empty apartment. It takes him a few minutes but then he lets his gaze drift around the room. The longer he stares, the more changes he notices. Suddenly, there's no longer a scarf hung over the back of one of his dining room chairs, and his shoes seem almost lonely where they are lined up in the hallway, the gaps in between appearing impossibly huge.

He isn't quite sure how long this had been planned. If Jeonghoon had taken measures ahead of time and had snuck a few of his belongings out of the apartment one by one when Soobin was not at home. He realizes now that there is no way Jeonghoon would have been able to shove all of his belongings into one little suitcase, so he must have been prepared for this. Why else would he keep seeing someone else on the side? So Soobin walks through his apartment, takes in all the places where something is missing now, vacated spots drawn in by lines of dust, and wonders. Wonders how he could have missed this, wonders how hard he must have tried to ignore all the signs pointing towards another lonely birthday. Wonders where Jeonghoon has gone now, if he's with his lover or a good friend. Maybe that colleague of his he liked so much. Soobin knows he shouldn't care but it is hard not to wonder when the person he has spent months trying to make a home out of disappears with barely a trace left behind.