Between the Lines

Thirty-four - Oliver

It’s only been a day since graduation and I don’t know what to do with myself. I wish I could actually think of something to do so my time stuck here in Lower-class will go faster but I am not motivated to do anything other than be very worried but also extremely excited about seeing Calvin again. There’s only three days left on my five-month detention and I have so many mixed feelings towards what’s going to happen. I mean, what happens when the detention ends? I can go back into the Middle? Even if I do, would I be able to see Calvin like I used to? I can imagine that now our chances of getting caught are much higher than they were before and the consequences are too. And, if we do meet again, would we meet at the library? And what time would we meet?

I haul myself off of my bed and start heading to the fridge to get a snack, my brain still ticking furiously. There are too many possibilities that I’m going to find Calvin and he’s going to shoot me down. I mean, I can't even remember the last time I saw him, and it's not like we had a progressive sit-down deciding on what we will be when the law kicks our asses. Are we even boyfriends anymore? At lot of things can change in five whole months. I might not be the one Calvin wants anymore...

I sift through the fridge, grab a nectarine and plop myself on the couch to eat it, staring at the T.V. I try to focus on the dancing colours and spiralling sounds rather than the ever-present anxiety that I have about practically re-meeting Calvin. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited that I can see Calvin again, but it’s just nerve racking knowing that everything has changed.

The fact that I’m more of a nervous wreck now than I ever have been is exactly the reason why I tried not to think about Calvin too much. Not that I was successful in keeping him off of my mind…

A quick knock at the door breaks me from my escalating anxiety. I turn off the T.V and walk over to open it. A familiar, tiny, platinum headed lady steps into view.

“Thought I might make a house-call,” Ronan says with an innocent smile.

“How very professional of you,” I say sarcastically as I lean against the door frame.

“Hey! Look, it’s not my fault I accidentally made friends with one of my clients even though it’s unethical to do so as a confidential reliant.” She pauses to laugh to herself lightly. “You look stressed.”

“That bad?”

“No, I’m just good at reading people, it’s kind of my job. Let me guess… Calvin.” I smile and nod slightly. “So I thought.”

It was hard to keep things from Ronan. I went to her for most of the detention, mainly for general relief. The court system basically funded my psychiatrist, but I needed someone a little more cool and casual to get by between appointments, and a sprightful, loving ex-psychologist turned social worker was the way to go (yes that's how she describes herself). Since I've dropped my appointments with her, she's taken a few unprofessional liberties, including friendship.

I let her in and sit back on the couch. She enthusiastically places herself on the opposite end of the couch, facing me as if we’re school girls about to spill some gossip. I turn to her with a roll of my eyes but can’t help to smile at her theatrics.

We sit and talk there for a while as I catch her up on my graduation, the dinner with dad and all my worries about re-meeting Calvin. Ronan talks some sense into me by reminding me of all the things that Calvin’s gone out of his way to do for me.

“I’m not saying that you’re dumb for feeling nervous or anxious, because I would probably feel like that too if I was in your situation. But I can’t imagine Calvin would lose feelings, I mean yes, it’s almost been half a year since you’ve properly seen each other… but after everything he’s done, I don’t think his feelings about you would have changed. You guys have a strong connection, and an even stronger friendship, so I think he deserves a little trust,” she explains.