HEALER (postAzkaban! Sirius Black X OC)

Breaking Walls

Turns out the random cabinets that the RoR gave us actually had clothes. Did I ever confess my undying love and devotion towards The Room of Requirements before? Seriously though, I opened the cabinets and voila! Clean and comfy pyjamas for the both of us. And mine were purple! I could cry. It had also provided us with a cute little stove and some supplies when my stomach had let out an embarrassing growl. Of course, Sirius' stomach could never growl, even though the idiot hadn't eaten since he left my house last night, he was just too perfect to let out embarrassing noises. I roll my eyes.

So, by the time I had finished changing into my pyjamas and fawning excitedly over the room, he was at the stove cooking us dinner with his hair up in a sexy man-bun, already changed into his pyjamas, looking all 'casually elegant' again. I still feel a lingering sense of concern for him, though. He just had a massive panic attack that made him pass out. And even though he acts like he's fine and that nothing fazes him, I've known him for long enough to see through the crappy facade he puts on whenever he's reeling inside.

I go over and hop up on the tiny counter space. "Hi.", I give him a small smile trying not to swoon over the man-bun and how it accentuates his sharp features and crimson, plush lips-NO. I shake my head and concentrate.

"As much as I love the company, Eve. You're taking up whatever little counter space I have left to work with.", he says not looking up at me.

I sigh, hopping down and standing facing him. I place a hand gently on his arm stopping his movement. "Look at me."

He pauses and sighs glancing at me. "I'm fine.", He says but I can detect the slight tremble in his voice and the glitter in his eyes. I cup his face with my other hand, turning his face towards me. "I know. I didn't ask if you were fine."

He presses his lips together then turns to me, the silver streaks in his eyes shining as he looks down at me. "Talk.", I say peering into the leaden pools of his eyes. He keeps looking at me for a moment then closes his eyes and leans his face into my hand. "Tell me everything will be alright.", he whispers, the desperate note in his tone making my heart crack.

I swallow hard, "Come here.", I mutter wrapping my arms around him. He immediately rests his head on my shoulder as his shoulders slump, his arms wrapping around my waist tightly. "Everything will be alright, love. I promise.", I whisper against his shoulder, running my fingers in his hair soothingly. He nods burying his face in my neck and I can feel the dampness from his lashes seep into my skin.

"It's okay. Let it out.", I murmur tracing circles on his back with my thumb. He stays silent for a while, just leaning on my shoulder with his eyes closed then lets out a low whisper, "I lost... twelve years of my life, Eve."

I say nothing in response, as he finally breaks down the walls he built around his e. I know, anything I offer as reassurance or comfort would just be empty words. No number of words I utter could compensate for the losses he's been through, and I could never dare to insult his own strength and bravado by doing so. So, I simply keep on holding him and wishing I could soak up his hurt like I do his tears.

"I can never get them back... And I...I try not to think of it. I try not to care. I try to get over it. I try, so hard, to not let it weaken me. But Eve...Everything fell apart. I am weak. I'm so afraid and-and so weak. I'm sorry...", his voice cracks in the end and he trails off, shaking slightly, so I take charge. "You don't have anything to apologise for.", I say gently but firmly. "You're one of the bravest, strongest and most beautiful people, I've ever met, Sirius. You have every right to be afraid and weak, and it can never change the fact that you are everything that I said you are, and more. I have told you this before, and I will say it again, until you realise it yourself." He stills and lifts his head, letting out a breath, tightening his grip on me. "You mean that?"

"Yes! Of course I do. You can be weak, and you can be afraid. It makes you human. And it proves how unbelievably brave you are for admitting it. It proves how incredibly strong you are for standing up for yourself and others despite it.", I say passionately as my own eyes well up in tears and my hands tremble, but I continue. "Siri, I can't believe that I get to know and cherish someone like you...You have no idea how grateful I am for it...and-and for the fact that in spite of all the hell they gave you, you still have the heart to smile at me."

I feel him swallow and breathe deeply as he lays a wet cheek on my shoulder. "Shut Up. You're making me sound like Hercules.", he mumbles hoarsely. I can't help but chuckle softly and smile at that.

"I'm sorry for what happened last night.", he says after a while, his head still buried in my shoulder."

"It's fine. It was my fault too."

"But last night, I shouldn't have-."

"I know. Let's not talk about it."

"Are you sure? Do you-"

"I'm sure and I'm hungry."

"Right. Let's eat, then."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He pulls away hesitantly. I reach up to wipe his wet cheeks and he looks at me doubtfully as I give him a reassuring smile. The guy has gone through enough for one night, and I really don't want to heap the fight from last night on top of it. He hadn't brought up my dramatic confession from last night either, and oddly, I was actually pretty okay with it.