NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY: The Adventures of the Creeping Bam (BOOK 4: The Hunt)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: VIFRI

At least Tormed regards magical transportation with the same fervent disdain as Udre and I do, because I don't think I could have done that twice. 'Least I ultimately managed to hold onto the lunch we got before we went into the Hellcat's mansion, but it was a close thing indeed, when we settled on the lawn I came damn close to dropping to my knees and vomiting on the spot. Instead I had to stay there for almost three minutes bent double with my hands on my knees, breathing heavy while Tormed stood by once I'd waved him off after he made a clumsy attempt to apologise for his lack of foresight. In the end I let him off easy for it, his reasoning at least was sound, it would've been a harder and much more unpleasant exercise making our way back out again. Not that it was really worth it, but still, the thought almost counted.

Instead of making another jump right away like Erahadur intended, the lieutenant instead insisted we make our way on horseback, which sounded a whole lot better to me, and even more to Udre. Redarra House was close enough anyway, it wouldn't have been more'n a twenty-minute trot under normal circumstances, and even going slower to start with to accommodate our unsettled stomachs we ultimately made it in just over a half hour. By the time we arrived I was feeling pretty good again, and even Udre, who tends to find mounted travel a little baffling since she spends most o' the time trying to work out the best way to juggle her great long spear, was in brighter spirits. That being said, reckon being so far removed from the oppressive atmosphere of that slaughterhouse prob'ly helped.

Ain't my first time here at Redarra, but it's been a while, and while Ceinog may still be my superior I ain't been here much even if this is his patch. I'd forgotten how baffling the place can be, it's at once official and ridiculously elaborate, particularly the showy garden. Most of all, there's a new addition in the external décor that gave me a hell of a start once I got a look at it, but not for the reason it did Udre.

That golem ... yeah, that weren't there last time I was here, must've been a recent addition to the grounds. What I'd originally thought was a pretty weird statue turned out to be what I'm assured is an apparently inoperative war golem from the Old Times, before the Sundering, intimidating but supposedly ultimately harmless. I wasn't convinced, looking at it scared the hell outta me ... most cuz I saw one very much like it a few days ago at the Transit House which seemed very much alive.

That was when it clicked with me, that little niggle in the back o' my mind, the reminder the scents Faldabri picked up back at the mansion threatened to kick loose. A bakaneko, and a halfling, and ... well, honestly I wasn't really sure what she was, I'd never seen anything quite like her before. That woman, the real tall one who was with that group of weird folk, they had to be mercs, they really didn't look like anything else. I remembered her most, even though they had a fucking ten foot tall living war machine following 'em round ...

Mostly cuz it sounded a whole lot like she was from Tektehr. They seemed all kinds of belligerent, particularly that dark-skinned woman who was clearly in the lead, she made a hell of an impression on me too, not all of it bad despite the way she was clearly spoiling for a fight. I mean, she was beautiful, with skin like warm milk chocolate or creamy coffee, and something about her manner ... I dunno, it was just sexy. Even so, the way the bakaneko had immediately started growling at us about the dwarf lass getting under our feet, and then she'd almost seemed to seize one it like an opportunity to try and just start something with us ... yeah, it was frustratingly familiar, and it just rubbed me the wrong way. I was ready to get all official about it, confident enough that if they did start something we wouldn't get in any actual trouble for finishing it ...

And then the tall one started talking to us in Tektehran common. I know I weren't the only one surprised by that, when we finally made it back to the barracks that was all the rest o' the squad could talk about for hours after. In the moment though, that took the air right out of the fight for me, on the spot, she apologised for her friend, insisting that they were here on official business with the Authority, and that I shouldn't read too much into her behaviour. That they were under a whole lot o' stress, and hoped I'd take it into account. I mean, sure, weren't nothing I ain't heard a hundred times before, but hearing it in my own mother tongue ... yeah, that bought 'em a pass all right. Even if they did have a fucking golem with 'em ...