NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY: The Adventures of the Creeping Bam (BOOK 4: The Hunt)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: SHAYLINE

Damn it, from the sound of it the whole plan's going to shit already. Lady Naru made contact with Kesla just ten minutes after we first made it into our private box, making her freeze on the spot with her sword held at a strikingly awkward angle just as she was about to sheathe it again. The message was brief, at least, but when she finally snapped out of it again and fumbled her sword back into its scabbard she was frowning deep enough she looked fit to spit right here.

Apparently Tulen had just gotten through to her from down below, still in the tunnels even though the plan was that by now they'd already be in the cellar levels under the Playhouse, ready to make their move. Instead they got caught out before they even made it all the way inside, apparently running into an ambush which left Art badly hurt and the rest of them hung up with a serious fight on their hands. That made me swear a particularly nasty oath under my breath, and Kesla joined me, clearly only just stopping herself from thumping the wall behind her in frustration.

Needless to say we don't have a choice in the matter, we have to move now, much earlier than we intended to. At least Lady Naru's group have made their way in backstage, although they've literally only just achieved their own sneaky infiltration so they're not yet in position, and with the company apparently hustling to get the play going they're having to lay very low right now. Right now there's not a whole lot they can do to help the others down in the tunnels, any more than we can.

"This is not gonna be pretty." Kesla growls under her breath now, picking the key out of her pocket and leaning close to the door as she listens at it for a moment. Honestly, I really don't know if she'll really be able to make much out doing that, the orchestra are really playing up a storm in the theatre below us, the opening scene just now starting to unfold. Or maybe that's not actually a bad thing, not really. After all, almost everyone's eyes will likely be on the stage right now, so we only have to deal with whatever's out there, in the corridor.

"Maybe we can just bluff our way through." I offer up, mostly just hopeful even in the face of everything else that's already going wrong. "After all, it didn't seem like they actually know we're here."

Kesla gives me a wary look as she pauses just before slotting the key into the lock. "You really believe that?"

Unable to keep the scowl from my face, I just roll my eyes and step back. My hands go to my lap almost unbidden, checking the knives now strapped into the makeshift sheaths on their inside of both my thighs. Hoping they really are as invisible as we intended them to be when we were setting this up. Once again I'm acutely reminded of how ridiculously dressed I am for what we're actually about, and how intrinsically uncomfortable I still am. This is not a good start.

The heels ... well, honestly, they're just the start. I can just about walk in them without having to really think about it, but this is purely down to my elven blood and the fact I have an intrinsically strong sense of balance. I still hate it, they're genuinely killing my feet and slowly but inexorably putting a cramp in my calves I know I'll pay for later from them being permanently over-extended. The rest of the costume is much worse, less down to how it feels than just how it makes me feel ...

The angry self-consciousness is the worst of it, of course. I'm well aware that the way I normally dress does somewhat flatter my figure, but it's still comfortable for me at the end of the day, and just as useful for me as it is stylish. This dress is just ... it's embarrassing, pretending to be something I'm not, something I can never be, that I never aspired to be and have no desire to be. Dressing like someone who wants to be ogled and lusted after, not so much to provoke actual titillation as to augment their desirability and therefore enhance their standing within their own social circle ... Lady Naru tried to explain how it works but it just downright baffled me, and even Tulen ultimately agreed that it never made a whole lot of sense to her either. But I still had to go along with it, if I was going to pass for a wealthy young noblewoman in this kind of social scenario, I have to present a very particular and highly cultivated appearance.