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matt,

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matt,

pap's fine. he's spent the last two days sleeping on and off but i think he'll get through it.

until his sleep is stable, i've been by his bedside, alone with my thoughts.

i spend my days wallowing in self-pity, matt.

i miss you, but i'd never say it to your face.

sometimes i hope you're missing me too but it wouldn't work anyways.

that. day.. as i was pulling out of your driveway and you were saying all this shit to me, you told me you loved me again.

i wish there was a universe where we'd end up together. because for now, i'm just the love of your life inside of your head. i still can't tell if you're mine either.

i love you,
etta

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