Unapologetically

chapter seven

Marwa sat on the floor for a while. When it felt like she could collapse with sleep right then and there, she moved herself to the bed. Drawing her shawl around herself, she slipped into the comforter, instantly shivering.

She had thought she could run from Lubna. She had thought she could run from fate.

She was wrong.

By the time she fell asleep, her priorities had changed. In the past five years of "fight or flight" she had been on flight mode. Surviving. Hiding.

She didn't want to be prey anymore. She was going to be the predator Lubna had never expected her to be. She was going to make sure this chapter of her life was closed and permanently.

She grit her teeth as hot tears pooled in her eyes, turning to her side as she brought her hands under her cheek.

Ek dafa usse yeh khel khelne ka moqa mil jaye. Phir Rohail Zahrun kya, uss ka baap bhi Marwa Kafeel ko nuqsan nahi poncha sakta tha.

She fell into dreamless sleep. Her exhaustion and anxiety overridden by her innate need to rest, to let her guard down. She had made so many plans. So many promises to herself.

Aur us har ek plan mein apne hi dil aur jazbat ko nazar andaaz kar gayi thi.

///

He stepped into his room. The lamp was still on as he'd left it, his things on the dresser in disarray. And on his bed, her hands tucked under her cheek as she slept pitifully was Marwa Kafeel.

He paused as he looked at her. He'd imagined her in his house, in his room, in his bed countless times. Never like this. So defeated. So restless. He had spent his waking moments each night, holding off sleep imagining her lips pink and upturned, her hands in his, her eyes gazing into his with mirth.

A beautiful wedding dress that she'd look like a princess in.

And then he had torn each of those dreams from himself.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and went into the bathroom en-suite. A long, hot shower later, be picked out clothes from the adjoining closet and got dressed. It was Sunday. He had no idea what he was going to do. There was no plan.

There had never been a plan.

Should he divorce her? After marrying her in secrecy as she had accused him of wanting and making her spend the night with him? Would she want that? Was he selfish for wanting to keep the spoils of this ill-fated war?

He left the bathroom in a daze, finding her still asleep. He stopped by her side, sitting besides her.

Her shawl was still wound around her, her cheeks pink with sleep and her lips pouting. He moved a silky piece of hair, tightly wound in a curl away from her face.

"Marwa." He called her name. Softly, gently. Not unlike before. "Uth jao, please."

She opened her eyes, her face confused as she rose up slightly. Her shawl slipped to her shoulders and she clutched at it. For a few minutes they just stared at each other. She was disoriented with sleep.

And he was too ashamed to say anything.

"What time is it?" She asked, her voice groggy as she undid the clip in her hair, the tresses falling past her face and hiding it from him.

He checked his watch. "1:30 in the afternoon."

She breathed, sighed more like as she twisted her hair into a bun, securing it with the clip.

"Biwi k liye koi intezamat bi kiye thay? Yah phir nafrat mein itne doob gaye thay k ek adha toothbrush bi naah khareeda gaya?"

His gaze flung wildly to hers. She had a serious expression on her face. It challenged him. Like it always did. "Toothbrush, clothes, sab kuch hai."