Heartstopper Nick and Charlie

Pain is Temporary

It was only last week that we got home from France as the World Cup had come to a close (England reached the semifinals) and Nick was already getting ready for training.

"Nick. Get changed quieter!" I say as I pull a pillow over my head to muffle all the sound. It was literally 7 in the morning and I was way too tired for all this. I just wanted him to get back into the cozy covers and hug me so tight I could barely breathe. It sounds weird, but that's all I want right now.

"I'm sorry baby! I'm just trying to get ready!" He whispers and sits practically on top of my legs then runs a hand through my hair as I placed my head back on top of the pillow I just tried to suffocate myself with.

"I'm gonna miss you" I say quietly, letting my eyes flutter shut again.

"Yeah I'm gonna miss you too, but I've got to go now ok! I'll see you later baby," he says as he gets up from the bed.

"No come back baby!" I say, making grabby hands with one arm and the other rubbing my eye open.

"Baby, I really need to go!" He says this but still turns around quickly, running in my direction, then leaning down to hug me, tucking his neck over my shoulder.

"I know," I start, pecking his lips, "you just didn't say goodbye properly," then he kisses me again, deepened this time.

"I love you, I'll see you later okay!" He says as he leaves the room, grabbing his bag on the way out with a huge smile on his face. Then as he reaches about the halfway point of the hallway he calls back to me.

"Noah's awake baby!" Then he puts on a baby voice and I can see him waving as he says, "bye bye, daddy will be home soon!" Then he puts his hands to his lips to blow three kisses in a quick succession. And by 'soon' Nick meant 5 hours, which in my opinion, is not soon.

Grumpily, I threw the covers off my body, leaving me cold and empty. A way I forgot I could feel in the months we spent together all the time. I wander through to Noah's room and lift him over the bars.

"Papa?" He babbles tiredly.

"No baby, papas gone to work today!" Then his face dropped into a sad little baby frown I hate to see, but do the same subconsciously. "I know," I carry on gently rocking him on my hip as I walk through back to our room.

It's way too early for this. I place Noah down in the bed before I clamber in after. He curls up into my chest for warmth and comfort before saying,

"aw trol!" Which meant, paw patrol. Grudgingly, I turned the tv on at a low volume so that he could watch it and be entertained. Also, I secretly hoped he would fall asleep as for some reason he usually falls asleep watching tv. However, my plan failed and he tried to talk to me about all of the characters. He can't speak ever so well, so sometimes it's very difficult to understand what he says. To be honest, I don't blame him as one, he's literally not even a year old yet and two, he has just spent a lot of time in a foreign speaking country.

After about what must've been an hour of lying in bed watching dogs save the world, I get a text from Haylee.

Haylee 🌸

Haylee: hey, can I come round?

Me: ofc! Is everything ok?

I didn't get a reply, but soon there was a knock at the door and I practically ran to get it. It was just the postman the first time and I think he was very confused as to why I was so excited to receive my monthly bank statement. Later though, it actually was there. I opened the door quickly as her black jeep pulled into the driveway. She got out quickly, and I saw her red, damp checks and puffy eyes. She'd been crying.

"Haylee what's wrong?" I call out with worry breaking my voice.

"I can't do it! I can't do it Charlie!" She quickens her pace as she comes towards me. When she finally reaches my grasp, she holds me tight and I hug her back to comfort her. But I still needed answers.

"Hey, hey, what can't you do Haylee? Please talk to me!" I plead into her shoulder.

"I can't have a baby! Even with all the treatment and help, like..." her voice trails off as the sobs take over. I pull away from her grabs slightly, shutting the door behind us and leading her through to the living room where a very confused Noah is sat playing with his trucks.

"Does...does Daniel know how you feel?" I ask.

"No, I...I can't! He's too excited and I...I promised him!" She lets her head hang between her legs, her hands covering her face to muffle her cries.

"Haylee, Daniel loves you! If you think you can't have a baby, if you think it will be too hard, he'll understand!" I say trying to calm her as I rubbed a soothing hand along her back.

"But I want a baby!" She cries and I sad smile at the statement.

"Haylee.." I start, waiting for her full attention on me before I continue, "do you remember when I went to the hospital when I was 14?" I wait for a nod, "well they told me, when things were really difficult and I didn't actually want to get better, when I didn't want to go through the pain of trying, that pain is just temporary! I guess what I'm saying is, yes, it will be hard and it will be scary but...having a child, that's what you want right? And besides, Nick and I will be there for you every step of the way!"

The sobs stop, the tears stop falling as she contemplates for a moment.

"Pain is temporary?" She says in a low voice, "yeah? Thank you Charlie! I can do this." She smiles weakly, but it was something.

"So you're having a baby?"

"I'm having a baby!" We both hold each other's hands and squeal like teenage girls, but it's fun, "you know...when I'm actually pregnant!" And we both break into a fit of laughter.