Together At Last. | Newtmas AU

Eight.

time skip

Newts POV

Cold. Empty. Sad. Lonely. Unwanted.

The cold air brushed against my body and my hands became numb, I told Tommy I was staying in a hotel but I recently got kicked out due to my actions and I didn't want him to know I was out on the streets.

So much negativity ran through my mind a hundred miles per hour and my arms became itchy because I wanted to cut.

Cutting helps me, I feel so much better. And I needed that- I needed to cut.

Thomas doesn't love me, how can someone love me? I'm nothing. I'm ugly and fat with cuts all over his body because he doesn't LOVE himself.

*trigger warning*

I fell down against a wall and cried- getting out my razor and started to cut.

"Thomas will never love me," I said, one cut.

"Thomas deserves better." One cut.

"I'm useless and no one loves me." One cut.

"I'm fat and ugly," one cut.

"I hate myself and will never be happy." One cut.

"I deserve to be dead!" He cried, slashing the razor in his arm deep as the dark red blood pours down his arms, he felt happy.

-

I stole a towel from the hotel I stayed in and cleaned up as much as possible- then I went to Thomas' house.

-

Knocking on the door- Thomas instantly opens it. "Oh Newton..." He cried, hugging me tight. "My beautiful angel." He whispered.

"Don't call me that," I breathed out, he looked at me confused. "W-What?"

"STOP LYING TO ME! ALL THESE THINGS YOU'RE SAYING ARE NOT TRUE! DON'T YOU SEE, THOMAS? I'M A NOBODY! I'M NOT AN ANGEL. I AM UGLY, I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP ON LYING TO ME? I CAN'T ST-"

I instantly stopped when Thomas started bursting into tears, I just fucked everything up.

"Thomas-" He shook his head.

"I'm sorry you can't believe what I say, and that you're the most beautiful boy in the world. I know it's hard to believe but I want you to know from my eyes you're so great- I'm sorry I can't make you happy." He whipped his tears away, sniffing.

"Thomas, I'm sorry.."

"I can't let you down, don't be sorry either Newt. I get that you needed to let your anger out." He said, holding out his hand. "Come on, don't think I'm going to give up on you now- because darling I could never do such a thing."

I smiled, reaching out for his hand. We walked inside his house, its been so long since I was last here and it never changed.

-

"Ouch." I cried out, Thomas quickly came to me from the kitchen. "Newt, what's wrong?"

I sighed, but cried out in pain. "It's my cuts.." I trailed off.

He rolled up my sleeves. Seeing the fresh cuts. "Newt.." I shook my head. "I'm sorry."

He walked up stairs without a word, I put my head in my hands and started crying.

He walked back down, a first aid kit in hand. "Baby don't cry, I'm not going to leave you- I'm not going to hurt you." He said kissing me slowly.

He cleaned off my cuts and wrapped them up, kissing my wrapped up arms after. "It's going to be okay." He said.

I smiled weakly, nodding. He walked to the kitchen and washed his hands.

"Your smile, man it lights up my world." He says from the kitchen. I blush, he came back and kneeled down in front of me as I was sitting on the couch. He grabbed my hands and kissed my fingers.

"Man I'm so in love with you."