After Dawn

Chapter 1: 22 Hours Until Dawn

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Chris
10:00 AM
Location: California, home.
22 Hours Until Dawn
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That fucking dream again.

It has haunted me ever since that night on Washington mountain. A lot has changed for me since then but everything in my mind has stayed the same. I still see and hear everything when I close my eyes like it just happened yesterday. But it didn't just happen yesterday because it has been a year-one year today.

I instantly reach for my glasses on my bedside table and lazily put them on-once I notice that the sunlight is shining through the curtains. After looking at my alarm clock beside me that reads 10AM, I sigh and curse under my breath.

It wasn't my intention to sleep in, but I guess I do need the extra sleep. Before getting out of bed, I turn and gaze down at my new wife, who is cuddling a little stuffed bear I got her yesterday for our one week anniversary.

Some say we moved too fast when it came to our wedding, but we don't care. We both know that nothing could ever break the bond we share after what went down last year. We are clearly meant for each other.

After a few minutes of taking in the beauty before me, I get out of bed and head to my office. I thank God every day that I am able to attend collage from home. The last thing I want is to be stuck in a classroom full of people-especially after all that went down.

I guess I lost my need to be social since then. The PTSD doesn't help that much. But doing school from home allows me to focus better anyway. Only a couple more years and I'll have my degree in software engineering. It has always been my dream to be an app designer.

After turning on my computer, I bring my phone out of my desk drawer. Ashley always makes me put it in there before bed, so I'm not on my phone for the whole night. It was a small price to pay to get laid almost every night.

I am just about to turn on my phone and check any new messages when my computer finally turns on. I get greeted by a photo of me and Ash on our wedding day-which I had set as my wallpaper for my computer screen-and I smile.

Josh did a lot of wrong and fucked up things, but he got something right. Because if it wasn't for him pushing me and Ashley together, we'd probably be in the geriatric ward before I made a move. I hate to admit it, but... I miss...

I quickly shake my head to regain focus and put my mind to my work and my work only. Now distracted by the big screen in front of me, I set down my phone and quickly get to work. I had a pretty big project to do and it didn't take long for me to start mentally cursing myself for sleeping in so late. I had no time lately to be doing something so irresponsible.

My professors know of my little insomnia problem and usually cut me some slack. They are just good like that. They had suggested some counseling in the past but I had to refuse. As messed up as this is, I'm not allowed to talk about what happened-at least not to anyone who wasn't there. That's just another reason why marrying Ashley was such a good idea; she gets me.

As I do my work, I ponder whether or not I should wake her up. She usually has bad night terror problems but last night was the first time she wasn't up all night. Although I know she probably needs to get up and do things, I decide to let her rest since she has a lot of catching up to do.

Until then, I'll just continue working away at my project.

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Around an hour to an hour and a half later, I lift my tired fingers off of my keyboard and lean back into my chair. I run my digits through my hair and let out a sigh. Things have been hard lately-harder than usual.

Something has been eating away at me from the inside, leaving this grueling feeling to linger over my shoulders. I wish I knew what it was, because then I could deal with it and leave it in the past behind me with everything else. But I don't know what it is, and I think that only makes that feeling worse.

I try to focus on things around me to take my mind off of it-Ashley, collage, dumb random hobbies I found online to help me cope-but nothing helps. It's there no matter what, even when I'm at my happiest.

It doesn't seem right or unnecessary at all. It feels more like it's there for a reason, like some sort of warning that something bad is about to happen. Before I even realize, I'm breathing heavy and my heart rate is increasing by the second-a panic attack is fast approaching.

In a desperate attempt to calm myself, I take down the internet tab to stare at our wedding photo again and I try my damnest to forget. I admire everything in that photo, especially Ash. She was the most beautiful I had ever seen her that day-her red hair up in a neat bun with a few stray strains framing her perfectly round face, her long gown hugging her figure perfectly, a smile on her face that proved to me that she was just as in love with me as I am with her.

The sight of her so happy and at peace of things calms me, but only for a little while. I know that feeling will only grow into a dangerous size again-it's only a matter of time.

Deciding that I need to take a well deserved break, I pick up my phone and swipe the pad of my thumb across the screen quickly. I notice that I have one new message and click on it. It's from an unknown number, and as soon as my eyes land on the text, that feeling is back and stronger than ever before.

This is it.

"Ashley! You need to come see this!"

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