THE MAN BEHIND MY MIND

CHAPTER 1

I wonder what went wrong during the night, even when I slept early I always wakes up feeling tired and exhausted, like  I have been running and for a long time , I even tried to do some research on it but all I find is get enough sleep then you will be able to wake up fresh in the morning but it's been months now and I still don't know what waking up fresh feels like , but I have I used to be filled with energy and happiness even if there was little to be happy about, I always knew that each passing day is different on its own way but  for people like me things like that don't last. Am still in school well I have like a year and some months left for me to be done with this shit. School has always been a pain in my ass not to say the kids are the ones making it hard for me to fit in and be normal and enjoy school, but everyone is built different I can't always get what I want or have it. May 13th, when I opened my eyes, a little disappointment filled my heart I don't know what I was disappointed about, little did I know it was the day my life would change for the better and worse, unlike most people I don't really enjoy my life, there are little things I would miss if I died, the thought of dying has crossed my mind a few times.

It's because of the hate I have for school and humans, I got out of the bed and walked straight to the kitchen, and I noticed that my mom was not in the house even when I know I didn't check her room I just had a feeling she was not in the house cuz it was too quiet. But that was not what I meant when I said I noticed something strange, what was strange was that I found my hard drive on the kitchen table. It didn't scare me or anything, I was kind of asking myself how it got there I always make sure my shit gets as far away as it can from humans. I know I am a strange guy, I got stupid stuff in that hard drive and things that could send me to prison if it happens to fall on the wrong hands. The contents that was inside the hard drive were not meant to be seen by normal eyes because it had gore and pornographic material in there and some real footage of people's life and even evidence, I had to save them so that I get to relive them over again the contents included some great memories that I don't wish to forget even when it means someone could find the hard drive and gets me into some real serious shit.

I stood there for some times  questions were running through my mind at that moment "did I come home with anyone last night?" the question was stupid I knew I can never bring anyone with me to where I live  and it made me nervous because I don't know if anyone has seen what was inside so I decided to continue with making myself breakfast when I finished I noticed still the house is dead quiet it's really not something am used to,  the house being this kind of quiet always awaken  my urges so I have to use my memories to draw the line and keep myself in check but that wasn't the case since I had this whole shit bugging me, it unsettles me in some sick way I can't explain it ,  cause I always make sure no one should be able to find that hard drive even when I know I zipped some of the contents inside I just felt exposed like am seen. I decided should call my mom and ask her about this cause I can't let it bug my mind this way it was going to ruin my day and there could be a small chance it could have been her who found it by a mistake so I decided to go to my room to go and grab my phone and dial her number.

There was no answer I tried again but when I called for like the fourth time, she finally picked up well at least that was what I thought. There was a voice of a men at the end of the line I quickly recognized it, it  was my dad's voice seems like mom chose to  visit him for the weekend I guess, that's explains the house being this kind of  quiet " what if she went there to tell my dad about this I could be kicked out of the house for this and even worse I could be sent to prison and lose everything over this " a little what if thought in my stupid head "what's up are you ok ,  did something happen?" his voice brought me out of my thought "no am fine so is mom around I mean is she around?" I asked nervously "she is sleeping right now and it's better to call back later if you don't have anything important to tell her "He said in a low voice "no it's nothing important I could call back later if that's alright" I lied "that's cool do that " he said, and I quickly hung up. The relationship between me and my dad if I were to talk about it is that we are more like partners we seriously have respect for each other and more importantly we understand each other its blessing really to have a father that understand you.