THE MAN BEHIND MY MIND

CHAPTER 5

I can't tell if time is really moving in this place, can't even tell how long I have been staring at the ceiling. My eyes are starting to hurt from being open and staring at a white ceiling. I'm lucky the light is on the right side of my bed and it's not that bright. I tried closing my eyes but my mind won't let me. I can't shake the fear inside me; it won't let me rest. The guy or whatever has been hitting the wall sounds like he got tired too since I haven't heard the noise in a while now.

This place, if I were to talk about it, I don't think it's just a hospital. I think it's more than that. But if it really is some kind of hospital, the nurses sure don't give a single fuck about me or the cries I have been making to catch their attention. I haven't seen any sign that people really do exist in this place. I lost my focus a while ago reflecting on me and my past; this place has forced me to think about my relationship with my mom. Now that I can't have a normal conversation with her since she went crazy, it's starting to hit me a little hard. I don't want to die here; I have to at least see her face before I face my end. I want to keep it with me as my only last thought. Mia has messed up my head; I got real obsessed with her that I even forgot about the state that my mom is in. I want to see her so badly.

I know that if I am going crazy, it's possible that I could have inherited it from her. But I can't hate her for something she has no control over. That would be so damn stupid of me. I have to find whatever way I can to leave this place and see my mom. I don't know what has happened with the hard drive and Mia's father. I know that should be my number one priority, but if they found it and have seen the things that are inside it, I'm sure I will soon be taken to the station for some questioning. Wait, isn't the metal on my right hand a handcuff? Too bad I can't move my head to inspect it.

I wish I could fall asleep. Maybe when I wake up, all of this will have been a bad dream. But the little pain I keep feeling from my right hand, as I hurt it trying to struggle, is proving to me this isn't a dream. I do want to sleep, though. My body is not taking this well, not to mention my mind.

After a little while, or more than that, I started hearing some footsteps outside my room. The footsteps are walking in a slow and yet a little quick pace. The footsteps stop just outside my door, and I try to listen closely, but there is a little urge telling me to scream out and maybe I can catch their attention. But I don't do that. I then hear some kind of whispers, but they don't sound like whispers. I think the walls are making it sound like they are whispers, and if I were closer, I could make out what they are saying. The footsteps pick up again, but this time some are going in the direction I can't tell, which one exactly, but if I were to guess, I think it's the one they came from.

Someone opened the door and stepped in. I stayed quiet, and since I couldn't move my head to take a look at them, I can tell from their smell that it's a woman, maybe a nurse.

"Hey, can you please tell me why I'm trapped like this?"

"Relax, this is for your own good, kid. I'm just here to give you your shot."

"My shot? Please tell me why I'm here and why I'm being held like this," I said, trying to hold my voice together, but I think she can tell it's cracking up.

"Just relax. It will all make sense in the morning. Right now, just know you're lucky to be here, and relax," she then stuck some kind of needle in my left arm, but I think it's a syringe.

"Hey, what are you injecting?"

My mouth started to feel hard to cooperate, and my eyes were getting heavy that I couldn't control them anymore. As they were closing, I could barely see a white woman wearing some kind of white clothes staring at me. With my eyes slowly closing, the image started to get blurry, and it was replaced by blackness.

I heard people calling out my name, but they weren't speaking my language. I could make out my mom's voice in one of the many voices that were shouting. The language wasn't English; it was more like old German with a little bit of English, but I could hear my name in those shouts. The sound of my mom in there was heart-breaking. It sounded like she was crying, like those people were hurting her really badly and she was calling me for help. I was confused; I couldn't even tell where the noise was coming from, but whatever it was, it sounded like it was right beside me. The noise was soon replaced by a loud male voice that sounded like he was in his late 30s.

My eyes started to open as I now could hear exactly where the voices were coming from.

"Leo, can you hear me? Wake up; you've been sleeping for way too long,"

I turned my head, and it wasn't locked in place anymore. I saw a white man wearing a red tie on a black suit. He was old and had wrinkles all over his face like someone had taken a small knife and worked on his face. He was holding a book in his hand, and his legs were opened in a fixed way, like a man who knows his stuff and himself.

"Hey there," he smiled a little, but I could tell it's not a real smile; it's fake.

"What...?" Words were hard to form; my throat felt like it was choked a while ago, and tears were in my eyes. I had to wipe them away as I forced myself to get out of bed.

"You were having a bad dream?" he said, standing up to help me sit on the bed.

"Yeah, it was a weird one," I said, wiping all the tears from my eyes, but my hands were moving slowly. My whole body felt heavy to move.

"You were crying and it sounded like you were choking. I had to wake you up," he said, holding me still, but I couldn't feel his hands or my body, while my hands felt heavy.

"How long have I been out?" I asked with a voice like a scared nine-year-old boy.

"It's been two days now," he said, letting go of me and going back to his chair and into his original position I found him in while my eyes were adjusting.

"But you have been here for more than that now," he continued as he saw that I was struggling to even get my body into a good position.

"My name is Doctor Mason Saint. As you could have guessed, I work for the government. Your father is really worried about you and asked me to take you more seriously. From what I have seen, he is a broken man, and I promised him I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you," I was still trying to get my head together, and his words sounded rushed. I tried my best to face him, but my head couldn't stay up.

"The medicine they gave you is super strong. Get some rest, and I will check up on you later today," it was hard to pay attention, and whatever he was saying was not making it through my head. I couldn't hear a single word. I decided it's best if I laid down, even though I have a lot of questions. But my mind was trying to make sense of a dream I just woke up from, and the old man, who I guess I missed his name, is just noise to me now. I rested my head on the bed and closed my eyes; getting up was a lot of work, and it felt like it was hell. Right now, it's better to sleep and hope the nightmare won't haunt me. The man sounded like he was still talking, but my eyes and ears couldn't work right now; it's only my thoughts.