Survivor's Guilt ~ A Marvel Story

~ 14 ~

~ Old Money by Lana Del Rey ~

My father's love was strong
My mother's glamour lives on and on
Yet still inside, I felt alone
For reasons unknown to me

My feet carried me through the halls riddled with blood and corpses. I had to be the one to tell Loki. If anyone else told him, he would hate us all forever. Our argument early had been so foolish compared to what I was about to tell him.

I reached the prison out of breath but found my way to Loki's chamber. "Brother," I spoke, still catching my breath. He looked up at me from a book that he had been reading. The room had been adjusted to fit only him, the other twin bed having been removed.

"Come to the edge, please." He did as I told him and when he saw the tears caked on my face his brows furrowed.

"Did someone hurt you?" He asked calmly. I shook my head.

"No... but..." I couldn't get the words out. "I need you to hear it from me. Mother has been... murdered." 

Even though I wasn't trying to feel his emotions, a heaviness crept up my throat, almost suffocating me. 

He stayed silent for a moment, looking at his feet. "I-" I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say. If there was anything I could say. 'Sorry, if you need anything I'm here'. Everything just seemed worthless. Nothing could fix this.

Revenge.

I shook the strange word away. Mother wouldn't want that.

But you do, Astrid. You need it.

--

Her laughter echoed down the halls as her small footsteps tapped against the smooth marble floor of the castle. Her beautiful white hair cascaded down her back like snow.

In the background, you could hear a muffled sound of counting, reaching close to fifty. The small girl darted behind the velvet floor-length curtains and pulled herself up on the windowsill. She covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter but her smile was so wide that her cheeks poked out from the sides.

The footsteps from her mother's heels became clearer and the girl became stiff as a stone. 

"Hmm," She could hear her Mother thinking out loud. "If I were Astrid, where would I be?" 

Unbeknownst to the princess, her Mother knew exactly where she was. The light from the window cast a shadow onto the veil she had hidden herself behind. Her small outline was painted onto the curtain.

"What about..." The queen slowly approached the window. "Here!" She tore back the curtain and Astrid finally let out all the laughter she had been holding in.

"How'd you find me?" She said with a teethy grin and the queen helped her down from the windowsill. 

The queen shrugged. "Mother's always know."

Frigga had special matching dresses made for the two of them. As much as Frigga loved her sons, having a daughter made her feel whole. She's always wanted to pass her wisdom to her children but there are some things only a daughter can understand. Womanhood was no easy feat and she was determined to make sure her youngest could handle anything.

--

Now instead of holding on to my mom's hand, I was holding on to the wooden panels of her funeral boat. I was shaking as I stared upon her pyre. She was beautiful, draped in orange, holding her blade, in her armor. The boat was covered in pink and white flowers. 

"Your glamour will live on and on," I kneeled before her and whispered the promise so that no one else could hear. If they don't know the name of my mother, they don't know who I am. 

I stepped away as the guards pushed her boat down the small river lined with citizens and guards alike. My family and those closest to us stood at the head of the lake, watching as she drifted away and into the ocean. 

With my powers, I conjured spheres and gave them to a few people to resemble the light she was to not only Asgard but all the realms. As her pyre was set on fire, everyone let the glowing white spheres float into the air.

My mother's body turned into a storm of stars, flying into the night sky, painting the universe with yet another soul. 

As the crowd began to disperse, I realized that it was over. I knew she was dead and gone but now that the funeral was over, I felt empty. I lost my mother, my rock. My brother was in jail, the other one despises me. My father dismisses me and I destroyed whatever Rune and I had. 

Right as I began to reflect on Odin and I's relationship, I realized he didn't let Loki be a part of his own mother's funeral. He was an evil man. My gaze turned to him and I saw a tear fall down his face and I, for a small moment, felt no pity for him.

I felt someone approach me from behind and I knew who it was. The heavy tenseness crowded my senses. 

"I'm sorry, princess," Rune spoke.

I didn't know why he was talking to me. He had every right to ignore and comfort literally anyone else.

I looked back at him with a confused look. For a moment, I almost questioned his motive. But I just simply said a small thank you and walked away.