Survivor's Guilt ~ A Marvel Story

~ 16 ~

Thor was stronger than me. While I stayed in Asgard moping, he was finishing what he started with Malekith on Midgard. I envied his ability to not feel things the way I do. I wished I never had this stupid power, I swear it's slowly killing me.

I hadn't spoken to anyone except for Rune and that wasn't doing me any favors. A quiet knock on my door forced me out of my bed. 

I opened it to my brother who looked giddy. "Yes?" I asked as I let him in.

"I just talked to Odin about what I am to do now."

I looked at him blankly for a moment. "Okay...?"

"I am going back to the Avengers on Midgard." The words hit me like a train. I needed him with me. As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was all I had left. Heimdall was on the run from his treachery and well... everyone else was dead.

"Mmm." I nodded, trying to sound happy.

"Odin wants you to come."

I scoffed at him, thinking he was kidding until I saw the seriousness in his eyes. "Oh- oh, you're serious?" I let out another laugh. "Thor, they'll throw me into the dungeons the second I get there."

"Astrid," He grabbed me by my shoulders. "We both know you can't stay here. I can see it in your face. You love Asgard but hate the loneliness." I hated how well he could see and understand me. 

"They hate me on Earth," My voice cracked. "I killed people, Thor. Innocents died because of me."

"The Avengers have done brutal things as well. It might take them some time but they will warm up to you, dear sister, I promise." The sincerity in his voice turned to a small touch of pleading. He needed me with him as much as I needed him. We were bonded by trauma and loss and blood.

"They trust me," He continued. "And I trust you so they'll come around. Please."

I looked around my room. The light-colored drapes cover the large doors to the patio and the large chairs by the fireplaces. My comfortable bed matched the color of my walls. Thor was right. As much as I wanted to stay, I needed to leave.

"Okay," I caved. "I'll go."

I packed only a small amount of things. Armor, some clothes, shoes, hairbrush, and makeup. Some simple things here and there. 

As I was finishing up my last bag, another knock came and Rune entered. 

"Oh-" I said, a little shocked to see him. Even though he was still my guard, we didn't talk much. Not as much as we used to.

"Thor told me I was dismissed as your guard," He tried saying with a funny tone but anyone could hear the disappointment, which was strange. "Off to Midgard huh?"

He was leaning on one of the posts of my bed, his arms crossed carelessly. 

"Yeah," I said. "I- I can't just mope around the castle for the rest of my days."

He nodded his head in understanding, pursing his lips together. "The realm is going to miss their princess," He said, his eyes meeting mine. "I'm going to miss her too."

My heart fluttered. "Rune, I've been so cruel to you. Why are you so kind?" He kind of shrugged at my question.

"Because I understand why you've done what you have." Sincerity dripped from his voice. "Remember that day that I trained you? I could feel you touch my memories with your mind and... well you backed off and the look you gave me was-"

I could see he was struggling to express what he meant but I knew. "Your past is dark." 

"Yeah. Yeah..." He said, grateful for the help. "Let's just say I understand more than you know about what you're going through. And trust me, had I had the abilities or methods of gaining even a little bit of strength back from the weakness of loss, I would've done it." I stood frozen. "I follow orders because it is my duty to the throne, but there is a reason I continued to be your guard. I get you, princess."

For some reason, he was making leaving hard. "I appreciate you, Rune and I'm sorry I've never truly apologized for what happened on Midgard."

"I am sorry too. I never would've hurt you had Odin not ordered me to do so." I swallowed roughly, remembering why I needed to leave this place. Odin wanted to rid himself of me. "If you need a friend in Midgard..." I was seeing what he was getting at.

I shook my head with a soft smile. "Asgard needs you, Rune."

He looked down at his feet. "I'm going to be honest, princess. I am going to miss you." His eyes bore into mine once more.

"I'll be back, Rune."

"You better be."

Before the conversation went on, Thor walked into the room, looking between us. 

"If you're ready...?" He said timidly.

I nodded and rushed to zip my bag. "Yes, yes I am."

"I'll meet you in the great hall," He said before leaving.

I went to grab my bags until Rune stopped me. "Allow me." 

A smile spread across my face as he took my hand and placed a kiss on top of it before picking up my two bags.