Writer: scarletblood27
Genre: Mafia romance
Parts I read: 6 parts
Beginning thoughts
It reads more of a romance than a mafia romance to me.
Blurb
It's a simple blurb that gives some details of what the story is about, though does not entice me to read it personally.
Story
The story is easy to follow and makes sense, though I find the flow of the story to be fast paced with little room to breathe. The drama also made for a good read too and found myself relating to the main character at times. There is also a lack of the mafia aspect from what I've read so far.
Writing
Your writing is not bad, but definitely needs some tweaking. I'll mention to main ones I've seen so far:
- Spaces after commas
- Incorrect words used (I'll/Ill were/we're you/you're etc)
- Some grammatical errors
Characters
There is honestly not much to the characters and some feel like archetypes. I assume Naomi and Nichalos would feel like better characters over time but right now not much to them.
I do like some of the dynamics between everyone.
Setting
There is a lack of description with the environment around the main character and would like more to not only get a picture of where she is, but to get an understanding of the overall world. (e.g. Showing Naomi's family's wealth through the stuff in their house as an example and maybe navigating through Nichalos's house and getting lost when she leaves.. at least I assume she was at his house, it wasn't really clear there).
Overall
Not a bad read and shows promise. With some editing it would turn out good.
Best regards,
Nobody <3
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