OC on Crack 2

Madori Past Incorrect Quotes

FEATS:
RUBY
LILY
CYPHER
KURI
DAGGER
CASSANDRA
ELENA
MOWGLI
ELISE

WARNING: CENSORED SWEARING, MENTIONS OF DEATH AND VIOLENCE AND JUST OVERALL CRAZINESS.

*

Dagger walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Cassandra, I love you but, what the h-e-double F*CK.

Cassandra, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

*

Ruby: *pitches an idea*

Lily, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Cypher, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

*

Kuri: Klaus, can I ask you a question?

Klaus: Sure, anything.

Kuri: Why don't you go back to your own house and leave us alone?

*

Ruby: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much he's loved. Mowgli has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.

Elena: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn't want to be at?

Ruby: I knew you'd understand.

*

Lily: Look at the buns on that guy!

Cypher: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Dagger: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Lily: I'm not going back to jail!

*
(MODERN!AU)

*Elise and Elena are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*

Elise: oh my god, Elena, backwards!

Elena: Really, Elise? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

*

Elise: I'm at a loss for words!

Ruby: Despite being 'at a loss for words', Elise yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

*

Ruby: Something's off.

Lily: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Ruby: No, but that's funny.

*

Ruby: Big day today, Kuri. *holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain?

Kuri: Mustard- looks less like blood.

*

Elena: I'm not stupid, you know.

Mowgli: Well, you're doing a really good impression of it!

*

Cypher: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not f*cking around?

Dagger: There is no plan that does not involve f*cking around. But we will make sure all of our f*cking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

*

Elise: Lily, I don't think I can handle any more of your tomf*ckery.

Lily: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you're all tomf*ckered out!

*

Elena: Th-that was horrible! Your wish is horrible! You're horrible! You're an irredeemable monster!

Kuri: Woah, woah! What took you so long, idiot?!

*

Cassandra: I didn't even realize how sarcastic I was being. It's starting to become a problem, I think.

*

Klaus: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

*

Ruby: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.

*

Cassandra: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Lily:

Cassandra:

Lily: ...Please, go back to bed.

*

Cypher: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?

Ruby: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

*

Klaus: I don't know, this plan seems complicated.

Mowgli: You once said that about an orange.

Klaus: They don't make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don't.

*

Cypher: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete f*cking idiot.

*

Dagger: "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would. P*ssy.

Dagger: "I'm not gonna sink to their level" I will. Coward.

Dagger: "I'm the bigger person" I'm 150cm tall give me the gun b*tch.

*

Elise: The path to inner peace begins with four words... not my f*cking problem.

*

Elena: Look, Lily, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

*

Cypher: I can't imagine what Cassandra is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

*

Cassandra: Hey, Ruby, do you have feelings for me?

Ruby: Yeah, anger.

*

Mowgli: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!

Dagger: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-

Mowgli: We are not doing this!

*

Lily, to Cypher and Ruby: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?!

Cypher: ...

Ruby: ...

Cypher: That is such an open-ended question.

Ruby: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

*

Cassandra: I have a plan.

Mowgli: I have the hospital and Dagger on speed dial.

*

Klaus: So... This is my full potential?

Elena: Yes.

Klaus: So, then it's...

Elena: All downhill from here.

Klaus: Like Kuri.

Elena: I do not know what this Kuri is. But it sounds disappointing.