Life Goes On

BLUE&GREY

He pinned his new polaroid to the wall.
That wall was as full as it could get and yet he had been able to find a space to put another photo up there.
There were all kinds of subjects on that wall, everything he liked was carefully placed there, so that he could admire the most beautiful part of the world every night before falling asleep.

He had transferred to that new big city for barely a week, and yet he had already photographed half of that place: from the metro to the fountain, from the studio to the building he now lived in, from the countryside to the traffic in the morning.

Everything was up there.
Everything except for people.
No faces at all.
He simply didn't like photographing faces, maybe because he had never met anyone beautiful enough to be frozen in time.
Maybe because there had been no one worthy enough to be considered beautiful both on the inside and on the outside.

100 pictures and not a person up there.

-

Jungkook learned how to survive in that city rapidly, that place was a joke compared to the countryside he grew up in, and he had decided not only to survive but to fight, to rule and have the best time of his life there.
He joined a crew in his new high-school. Out of survival at first; he had learned that being an outsider wasn't gonna work. He joined the main crew of that city, the one that ruled the East Side of the town and they had got in most of the schools of his new neighbourhood.
His leader was called SUGA, and no one seemed to know his real name. He was pretty tiny but with the most bad ass attitude Jungkook had ever seen. No one stood a chance when it came to fighting and even with words he really wasn't that much better; the more he got to know him, the more he started to question if SUGA was actually able to speak with manners. But he understood that it was part of the character. Of the act, exactly like his attitude.
Every one was kinda faking something in order to protect themselves from the worst condition of all: solitude.
He was the youngest member, at his first year of high-school JK was not yet 15; SUGA was in his last year of school but he had been forced to stay there a year more than he should have had. The other main members were two, SUGA's right hand men: RM and Jimin. They were more intimidating than any other crew member, except for SUGA, one was in his last year as well but 18 years old and the other was in his third year. JK had made friends with both of them but mainly with Jimin, the youngest one, the one that would have taken over next year. He had found himself better with him: there was something about that small boy that made him feel safe. Inside his head there was something about his laughter and sarcasm that made him forget about that one little fear.
One little detail that Jungkook was so desperately trying to erase.
But scars and pain aren't that easy to break. It takes a lot more than a person to heal them, and Jungkook knew it well.

Two years went by and in those two years a lot changed.
JK was finally one of the main crew men, side by side with Jimin and another classmate that had come in later on. A friend of Jimin: Hope.
Those two were more friends than ever; kinda like brothers, and in that friendship JK slowly drifted away. He looked at them from far away, and there was something about that friendship that bothered him too much.
That easiness he once had with Jimin was disappearing and the beauty he once saw in him was dying.
that's why I hate people
Those words echoed inside his head, bouncing from side to side.
In the darkness of his bedroom, the shadows started to pull him down and choke the boy as he let them suffocate him. No resistance nor desperate need to push them away, while he was admiring those photographers carefully pinned on the wall, he slowly realised one simple truth: he didn't like people because he didn't like himself.
A vial of salty tears blurred his eyes and his chest hurt with a loud pain.
The mattress shaped under his weight while his fingers desperately held onto those blankets, painfully and silently too, he cried out all that pain he had inside.