Thirteen

9

Butch 4 Butch by Rio Romeo

"I think I'm going insane."
The words bounce around inside my brain repeatedly. No other thoughts bother to appear in my brain. It feels so empty, compared to how or felt earlier. Chaotic. Crowded.

"You 'nd me both Ginge," I hear Grace say from across the room.

I flick and twist at the coloured cube in my hand, struggling to get at least one side the same colour. I make up my own methodic pattern, twisting and turning, twisting and turning.
I hear Grace sigh from across the room and I look up. She's laying down on the cushioned bench, shaking an 8-ball vigorously above her, pausing every few seconds. She mouths something silently, most likely a question, but I'm shit at lip reading. I turn back to my Rubix cube, but I forget the pattern I was working with.
I give up.
I place the cube on the floor beside me.

I have to bite my cheek to stop myself from smiling, as Grace shakes the 8-ball harder and harder. Looking at it one more time, she too gives up. Her hands lowers to the floor and lets go of the ball, watching it roll away, stopping in the centre of the room.
We make eye contact and I instinctively look away. My stomach flips. All the years I've had it drilled into me to be ashamed of having different coloured eyes, to be insecure about something I can't change. It's stupid, really. I can't understand why society makes up these impossible standards.

Yet I still feel her eyes on me. My stomach knots. I hate not know what Grace is thinking. Or anyone, for that matter. Oh, what I'd give to read someone's mind.

"Time feels soooo slow in this place," She complains, stretching her arms above her head. "Yet you look back, and it's been years."
My chest tightens.
"Years?!"
She sits up and nods, her fingers curling over the edge of the bench. Her face, completely empty, like someone had wiped all the emotion off.

She shrugs, and leans her head on one of her shoulders. "But Friday is very soon, so that's the exciting thing that gets me through the week."

My brows pull together and my brain buffers for a second. I backtrack how many days it's been since... the last time I went trampolining... which was Wednesday.

"Today is Friday." I point out.

Her face suddenly lights up. Excitement gleams in her eyes and she springs up, making her way towards me.

I open my mouth to question her sudden change in mood, when she takes my hands and yanks me off the floor. I wince in pain as my ankle isn't fully healed; what used to be a sharp shooting pain is now an intense ache.

"Grace- what are you doing?!" I hiss at her. She ignores my question and pulls me out of the rec-room and into the hallway. I become more confused by the second, and it actually puts me on edge at how her mood changes so quickly.

However, our little walk is cut short when she stops at a door quite literally next to the rec room. I watch her try the handle, and she lets out a small triumphant noise when the door opens. She steps inside, and I follow her, the door swinging shut behind us.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely was not this.

The room is small, with grey walls, and I let my eyes adjust to the change of lighting. It's dim, but not dark, with the only light being from a small old television pushed up against one wall. The opposite wall has three grey foldable chairs that look worn and scuffed up.

My attention turns back to Grace, as she's fiddling with a VHS player attached to the TV.

"Grace... What is this?"
"Friday is when they let us put a movie on." She explains, without looking up. "But Alice In Wonderland is the only movie they let us watch."
The knot in my stomach loosens. I think I need something to take my mind off things. Something mind-numbing to ease my brain for an hour or two.

I sit down on one of the end chairs, watching Grace struggle. She presses every button possible before hitting the top of the TV hard. Surprisingly, the TV flashes to life, presenting Alice herself, in her pretty blue dress, and her pretty perfect life, unknowing of how her life will be turned upside down.

Grace takes the middle chair, and something stings in my chest when I realise the third chair won't be taken. Grace looks at the spare seat, then back at me, knowing that the chair won't be needed anymore.

Instead, to try to figure the uncomfortable air, she swings her legs up on the empty seat, laying down and resting her head on my lap.
"You learn to move on quickly. He had it coming to him anyway." She says quietly, with a sad undertone to her voice. It makes me wonder how many times this has happened.

There's a strong possibility that she might of lost someone before she even came to this place. About 15 years ago, the government instigated the 'One Child Policy'. Because of overpopulation and food stock unable to keep up with the amount of people, parents were forced to choose one child to keep. And twins slowly disappeared from the face of the earth altogether. I don't know anyone personally who has been a victim of this event, but it's still scary to think about. So I snap out of my thoughts.

I realise I've been staring at the wall for who knows how long. I look down and I see Grace absorbed in the TV. She won't take her eyes off it, and I can't take my eyes off of her.

My gaze soaking her up like water in the sun. Very few freckles dot the side of her face, which I've never noticed before. Her freckles look so much prettier compared to the freckles that plague my whole body. Her lips silently mouthing every word of the movie.
I wonder how many times she's watched the movie for her to memorise the words.

And I wonder how long it will take for me to feel like Alice, slowly descending down the rabbit hole...

A/N
Sorry, it's been ages since the last chapter, I haven't forgotten about you guys 🕸❤️