I would open up if I new I could trust you. I would tell you how I feel but I know your no good. I'd say I loved you if I knew you love me to. And I will not be that girl again. I won't be your lapdog. I am not your pet and I certainly won't be yours if your not mine. I won't pity you or feel guilty anymore because I'm putting myself above you. I'd be more recorprocating to your affection if it was real. Don't lie to yourself because we both know you jump from relationship to relationship because deep down we both know that you'll never be satisfied. That you'll never own up to what you did and go with the consequences. You never had the intention of being with me for me. You admitted yourself. We both know even if you did love me that I'd never forgive you and that you'd never mean it. I can't be who you want me to be. I can't understand someone who is so confusing and let you victimize yourself because you can never see yourself the bad guy. You can never let someone not fear and cower to your every want or question. You can never let someone feel how there feeling without you being mad at them. Anyone who wishes you well or even tries to help you is wasting there time because you can't stand someone who wants the best for you. You can't be satisfied being alone because you hate it. Because deep down you hate yourself. Your so fucking lucky to have people who care about you and your happiness. Who wish you a better future. But all you do is push them away. Do you know how jealous I am of you? Your mother changes for you. Your mother gives shits about you and everything she says is to shape you into a better person than the shitty one you are. She's never done anything that hurts you in a way that would make you a shitty person. All she's ever wanted was the best for you and you can't even see all that she's been through for you. I'd KILL for my mom to be like that. Every lecture she gives is just her wanting you to turn out better and you throw it all away. And now that I'm over you I realize how much of a shittty person you are. You may fight people but all you do is run from, your problems. And that's coming from someone who does that same and who's been your best friend for God knows how long. Do you know how much i sacrificed for you?! I gave you everything I was your fucking lapdog for gods sake you fucking relished in it because you love the feeling of power when you know you have a false sense of it deep down. That's why your mad at me when I tell you this because inside your core your a coward and a failure. It takes one to know one.
Your the one trying to let me go because you know that I won't because I actually give a shit about you. You don't care about anyone but yourself and even when you do you ruin it because your not used to being in healthy relationships. Your so desperate that you snatch my leftovers knowing it was wrong. And I love you as a friend and so I'm not embarrassed to be your best friend unlike you. Nomatter what you do. You don't even care because if I were to ever send this to you you'd leave just like the coward your growing to be. You insult me everyday joke or not and yet i stay. Because I care.
