camden; nick sturniolo

not like i care to know the time and

I was in a deep sleep until i felt a soft hand playing with my hair which caused me to wake up. "Nicky, it's time to get up kid, it's already almost 11 o'clock" i heard Matt say gently as he continued to play with my hair. I didn't want to get up, I'm too exhausted to do anything. "Mhm, i don't want to" i say, my voice sounds tired and a bit raspy. "Come on Nick, I made french toast."
Matt says with a soft voice. I knew that he tried to convince me to come downstairs with that but little does he know that i hate food at the moment and that i would rather do anything else than eating. "Just let me sleep Matt" i answered him while rubbing my tired eyes. "Please kid, we want to spend time with you. We can just watch movies all day if that's fine with you, a chill day." Matt replied, still trying to convince me. I could tell that he wasn't going to give up so i decided to give in. "fine, but i get to choose the movies" i say while sitting up. "Sure, Nicky" Matt announced, smiling wide.

Now i'm sitting at the table with Matt and Chris eating breakfast. I was getting dizzy while going downstairs so i knew that i had to keep my food in today so that i wouldn't pass out. I only ate half the french toast but i just couldn't eat more. I really hope that my brothers aren't getting suspicious with me only eating a little bit every meal. After a few minutes i stand up to bring my dishes onto the counter. I can see the worried looks my brothers are giving me, they don't say anything though.

After my brothers finished eating we sat down on the couch, Matt and Chris are each on a side of me. Matt is gently holding my hand and Chris is tracing soft circles on my back. "We wanted to talk about yesterday, do you know what triggered your panic attack?" Chris says while giving me a soft smile. As soon as he said that i looked down, i'm embarrassed. I can't tell them the real reason, they wouldn't understand. "Nick, kid, please look at me" Matt says with a caring voice. I slowly look up at him, he is smiling softly. "You can talk to us Nicky" he announced "He is right, Nick, we are here for you" Chris replied while running his hand through my hair. "I just...got overwhelming with editing, i was just stressed i guess...but i'm fine now" i answered while trying to give them my best smile. "Why didn't you say anything, Nick? We would've just stayed home" Matt says while giving me a worried look. "I didn't want to worry you guys, i didn't thought that i would be getting a panic attack" I replied while looking down again. "We are your brothers, Nick, of course we worry about you and we care about you so much. Please tell us next time, we want to help you, that's what brothers do" Chris says, giving me a caring look and lifting my chin up so i would look at him. "I'm sorry, I'll tell you next time" I answer, smiling weakly. "You don't have to be sorry, Nick" Matt says, rubbing my shoulder gently. "Alright, so what movie do you want to watch, Nicky?" Chris says out of the blue, which makes Matt and Me laugh. "Edward Scissorhands?" I ask, smiling innocent because we have already seen this movie over a hundred times. "Alright...Sure" Matt replied, Chris just nodded. I watched the movie with my head on Matt's shoulder. I felt safe for the first time since a long time, this was the last thing i remembered before falling asleep.

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author's note
i'm really excited for what's to come. Let me know what you think so far. Also thank you for 115 reads <3