I didn't realize just how much Rowan's body had relaxed since he first caught me in mid-air until all hints of softness in the arms vanished. They turned into steel bands again while the rest of him turned to stone. His familiar mask slipped into place, hiding the concern that had flashed in his eyes. Now they were cold and dead again.
I swallowed hard, not liking how the temperature dropped a degree with the minuscule shifts that had me wanting to sink into Rowan and hide. But Rowan had other ideas.
Panic flared in my chest, sending my heart thrashing when he lowered his arms to place his hands on my waist to push me down. Catching me off guard, my legs dropped to the ground without trouble, but before he could push away my arms, my hands that were clutching at his shirt released it to clutch one another so tight that my nails cut into my skin. I wasn't going to let go. Just the thought of doing so had me spiraling. The moment he saved me from her, things had shifted, cementing the straying thought that had been pestering me since my conversation with Aster last night.
When it came down to it, Rowan stepped in to save me. For someone who didn't have many heroes coming to my rescue when I needed them- needing to become my own hero at the end of the day- I didn't know how to handle the overwhelming need to keep clinging to him like- like...
He was safe.
Rowan saved me. Not only today but yesterday too, when he had me running until my feet were peeling and I snapped. He did it in an attempt to save me from something far worse. He saved me the first time we met and tried to help me the second time too despite learning why I was in his room in the middle of the night. He was safe...
When it came down to life and death.
And in this world where death seemed to be waiting to greet me around every corner, that was more than enough. It provided me with a level of security that I was a stranger to. I didn't know how to handle it. Silas's self-motivated rescue was one he regretted; Hilda's aid was to serve her own purposes; Rowan made his choice to intervene knowing full well what was in store for him. It was why he typically didn't.
And why I refused to let him go. When he tried to pull my arms free, simultaneously pushing me behind him to shield me from the Queen who he straightened to face, I held on tighter. If I needed to, I would curl my leg over his hip and start climbing him if it meant I could keep hold of the safety he provided.
If my mind wasn't racing so fast, I probably would have realized that it would be smarter to let go and get out of the way, but my mind was running on survival instincts and they told me my best bet was Rowan. Stepping away from him would be like stepping out of a window like the one I had been thrown from.
Luckily- or unluckily depending on how you choose to look at it- the Queen interrupted his muscles that I stood no chance against before they could successfully pry me off. He stilled as she continued.
"With how well you accepted the execution of your unit, I had come to believe you had matured," she said, disappointment sounding heavy in her voice.
My brows furrowed. His unit? I hadn't seen anyone around who seemed to be part of- the men from the Tavern. The ones who had been drinking and laughing around him while he seemed content to just sit there silently and observe. I had yet to see any of them around, but if they were executed, that would explain why.
My eyes rose to Rowan, catching the tightening of his jaw as the Queen continued.
"It only took a few days with another human to prove how very wrong I was." She smoothed her hands down her thin dress that hugged her body and clasped them together over her flat stomach. "It seems I underestimated the soft spot you hold for them. But," she sighed, "I should have seen this coming. It's always been the one weakness that I never could beat out of you; you're penchant for the weak," she practically spat at him. "Believe me, son, it will one day be your downfall."
