My eyes darted around the room in search of him, coming up empty. "Where is he?" I demanded with a hoarse voice laced with concern, my breaths sawing in and out as I tried to search my memory for another that would appease my rising worry.
Rory clicked her tongue disapprovingly, disregarding my question as she turned to Aster who was looking at me with what resembled pity. Although, not enough to offer up an answer.
"What's your opinion on the Autumn Prince? Tor mentioned you rose to his defense too. What, did the Autumn court turn you soft? I expected being near Elspeth to have hardened you," she addressed the back of her head as the shorter of the two moved to occupy the spot she just moved back to vacate.
Affronted by her line of questioning, Aster's pity shifted to reflect the offence. "I stand by what I said, Rowan is nothing like the Queen-Elspeth," she corrected herself with a self-admonishing frown. "And no, I haven't turned soft, that castle hardened me in ways you couldn't even imagine." Her eyes hardened to reflect her words. "It showed me what you all fail to see. He's a puppet, like the rest of her other subjects. Fueled by fear. Except, it's not his death that he fears, it's the deaths of those around him- including mine. The Qu- Elspth," she hissed the correction through her teeth, "threatened my life more times than I could keep track of to get him to bend to her will. He always did. I owe him my life."
Her words calmed my concerns and seemed to reach into my chest and settle some of my unease within... The part born of my uncertainty when it came to trusting Rowan.
"But he owes her, his. She birthed him into this world, her blood runs through his veins.:
"Would you be loyal to the woman who kept killing your friends and anybody you got close to? Blood changes nothing, for either of them."
Rory crossed her arms, lifting her chin as she gave her a narrow-eyed look that wasn't hostile, but... thoughtful. "We'll see."
Aster released a scoff that held a hint of offence. "You will," she answered confidently. "Now come, here! I can't lift her off the hook on my own."
She released an amused snort. "You're betrothed helped get her up there, he can help you get her back down."
Tuning out their bickering, I shut my eyes to block everything out and tried to piece together the scattered puzzle pieces that were floating around in my head, trying to put them together to create a clear picture of the moments of consciousness that were coming to me in disorganized and hazy flashes.
The memory of Rowan's body moving against mine and slowly pressing into it attempted to derail me, but I refused to let it. No matter how many times I tried, I shifted my focus where it was necessary; on surviving.
To survive, I had to unscramble the mess in my head, so I focused on the last memories I could remember before everything went to shit and my memories took on a dream-like haze. Watching as my house burned. The only home I had ever had... I once loved it, when I was too young to remember or know better, when my blanket wasn't so worn and still kept me warm. As I got older, no longer able to ignore how broken and disgusting it was, the more I dreamed of burning it down. More often than not, with my parents inside.
We could have escaped if there was no house to trap us; to tether me with an invisible leash.
Now, there wasn't. Rowan made my dreams come true. He burned it down with my parents inside, Ash already free...
He must have thought I had abandoned him like I was afraid he would abandon me once free.
My heart pinched painfully.
