It should be here, I saw him put it away that night. Unless he moved it, it should be right here...
Shifting on my feet on the stool, I rose to the tips of my toes and peered into the kitchen cabinet once again. All I could see were various jars of dried beans, lentils, herbs, and different flours. Reaching for one of the glass jars filled with a finely ground yellow powder, I pressed the ends of my fingers against it and pushed it aside to reveal the rest of the cabinet that continued further back. Trying not to breathe in dust that would have me worried for Aster's physical and mental wellbeing if the Queen were ever caught sight of it, I swept my gaze over stacks of cans before my eyes stilled on dark glass. My lips curled up in success.
Bingo!
Releasing a breath that had my shoulders loosening, I looked back at the door leading into the kitchen to make sure Aster hadn't returned yet. With how many soldiers Rowan had pulled to station at least one at every door that led in and out of his wing and every window that opened, he and she weren't worried about me wandering off where I wasn't allowed to be.
Seeing and hearing no signs that indicated she was returning, I turned back to face the cabinet. Shuffling dangerously close to the edge of the stool, I placed a hand on the edge of the sturdiest shelf for balance as I rose to the tips of my toes and reached for the dark bottle of rum that had been on my mind for days now. Ever since Rowan had shared three cups of the burning liquid with me that had warmed my body pleasantly.
I needed more.
The need had only grown over the last three days.
Although Rowan had been making me continue to join morning training with him and his class with reasonable standards in mind, the physical exhaustion wasn't enough this time around to help lower my dependence on the bottle. Maybe because I wasn't reaching for it from near rock bottle this time. Having a few more drinks of the strong liquor didn't seem as harmful as it did when the threat of being fired loomed over my head if I drank a little too much.
I couldn't distract myself from its lure after having a reminder of the ease it could bring to my mind. And learning how strong and intoxicating it was, it was the kind I desperately craved; needed. Especially now when all I could do was sit patiently and wait.
Three days ago when the Queen had made sure to drive home the message that Rowan's punishment would have come short of conveying once the worst of the pain in my body had passed, I had weighed the pros and cons of challenging the Queen's threat. There weren't enough pros to risk it, even if the main one was so compelling. Failing another attempt wasn't an option, so that left me to wait for a rescue that had a higher chance of succeeding than any escape I could try to plan and execute.
If the time that we were stuck together hadn't been enough to have Silas come after me, then at least I knew that Artemis and the Blood Stone were.
I hoped.
Hilda wasn't exactly around to force her hand if he was off somewhere dragging his feet and moping around like a child. Yet, I had no doubt that whatever half-ass plan he could come up with would be better than anything I could put all my effort into creating. I wasn't going to risk my legs for something I knew would only end in failure. I was especially sure of that after the lessons Rowan had me sit in on while he taught. Ones I was sure he chose so my ears could learn a thing or two too before I made another mistake. Like running off into the trees that surrounded the castle.
The first lesson came after the two drinks we shared in his office and a brief healing session where he dealt with my bruised skull and concussion. Having missed morning training and his first lecture, when it came time for his second, instead of refilling my glass as requested, saving the third drink for dinner, he took it away and told me to get up and follow him. I did, begrudgingly walking into a lecture hall filled with the very soldiers who had watched me have a breakdown, some of them even finding amusement in it.
