Hazbin Hotel

When Did This Shit Become A Fucking Musical?

"Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke," Charlie tells the radio demon. As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alastor. "But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no..." she makes gestures with her hands, "tricks or voodoo strings attached."

"So, it's a deal, then?" As Alastor rolls his eyes at that last statement, he twirls his mic staff and presents his hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the hotel.

Charlie refuses his handshake, "Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire." A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Vaggie for approval. "Sound fair?"

Alastor rubs his chin, "Hmm..." he retracts his mic staff, "Fair enough!"

Charlie sighs in relief, "Cool beans."

Alastor hums while looking around as he stops in front of Vaggie, "Smile, my dear!" He tickles her chin, "You know you're never fully dressed without one!" He walks away as he continues humming. "So where is your hotel staff?"

"Uh, well-.

Vaggie glares at Alastor dead in his eyes.

Alastor adjusts he monocle, "Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that. He walks towards Angel Dust, "And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?"

"I can suck your dick!" Angel smirks and you hold back a laugh.

Alastor tries to process what Angel said, "HAH! No."

Angel scoffs, "Your loss."

"And what about you, dear?"

"I can pole dance pretty well. I can show you how it's done in my room~," you purr.

"Well, this just won't do!" He takes out his mic staff, "I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up." At the snap of his finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down one as he approaches it and picks up the mysterious figure covered in soot, which then opens its eye and stares at the four of you behind him.

The small demon poofs out her dress.

"This little darling is Niffty!"

Niffty drops to the floor, unaffected, "Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends!" She eyes the four of you, "Why're you all women?" She lifts Charlie with no effort, "Are there any men here?!" She puts Charlie down, "I'm sorry, that's rude." She looks around, "Oooh, man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch," she grabs a spider and crushes it. "Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense." She stares as she takes out a feather duster. "Oh, my gosh! This is awful!" she speed cleans throughout the hotel, "Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!" She spots a cockroach and stabs it with a sewing pin, "Nope!"

"What a cutie!" You watch the little demon go back a forth cleaning up the 'mess'.

The five of you stare at Niffty as a voice coming from an unknown cat demon can be heard nearby.

The cat demon lays his cards down the table, "Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys! Full Ho-," demonic illusions and voices distort the surroundings temporarily "-tel? What the fuck is this?" He looks around and spots Alastor, eliciting an angry purr as he points at him, "You!"

"Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!" Alastor says unfazed by the cat demon's anger.

"Don't you 'Husker' me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!" The jackpot disappears.

"Good to see you too!"

Husk facepalms angrily, " What the hell do you want with me this time...?"

"My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!"

"Are you shittin' me?!"

"Hmm... No, I don't think so!"

Husk shoves Alastor off, "You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?!" Alastor dusts himself off, "You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!"

Alastor grins, "Maybe!"

"I ain't doing no fucking charity job."

Alastor teleports behind him through his shadow, "Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!" He gestures towards the bar he made out of his magic, "With your charming smile," he pulls Husks's lips into a forced smile, "and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend," he walks over to the bar, "I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish." When he waves his hand he makes a bottle of 'Cheap Booze' appear out of nowhere.

Husk stares at the booze for a second, "What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!" He grabs the booze and looks at it "...Well, you can!" He downs the booze.

"Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth...brothel...man cave!"

Angel Dust launches himself at Vaggie, "SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We," he points to the bar with all his fingers, "are keeping this!"

Angel Dust starts flirting with Husk, "Hey~"

"Go fuck yourself."

"Oh~? I think the kitty has claws," you chuckle at Husk.

Angel Dust holds Husk's face, "Only if you watch me!"

"Oh, my gosh! Welcome to The Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!" Charlie tries to go for a handshake.

Husk reaches for his booze, "I lost the ability to love years ago." He continues to down his booze.

"So, whaddaya think?" Alastor asks Charlie.

"This is amazing!" Charlie rubs her cheeks excitedly.

Vaggie crosses her arms, "It's... okay."

The hotel door explodes, knocking Niffty away as Charlie, Alastor, Angel Dust, Vaggie, and you look outside.

Sir Pentious' war ship has made an appearance outside the hotel. "Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!"

"Do I know you?" Alastor tilts his head slightly.

"Oh, yes you do! His hood flares open, "And this time, I have the element of-," he pulls a lever, "SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!"

With a snap of a finger, Alastor summons an otherwordly dimensional portal, it opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship while he is inside. Alastor then finishes it off as he clenches his fist with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. Alastor grins menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the others look at him in shock and horror.

Alastor breaks the tension, "...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now..."