Hazbin Hotel

Overture

You were all watching a commercial Alastor had just made.

"So what do you think?" Alastor asks, his usual smile plastered on his face.

Both Vaggie and Charlie look at the demon, dumbfounded. Vaggie speaks up, "I'm sorry, but what the fuck was that!?"

"Uh, Yeah. One note, Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit off. We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um..." Charlie looks around trying to search for the correct words.

"Bad. The word you're looking for is bad," Vaggie glares at the radio demon.

"Funny. I was going for hilarious, " Alastor response.

"It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point!"

"Vaggie is right Alastor," Charlie butts in, "the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them."

"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself. But, you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement." Alastor taps the television twice with his microphone staff. "So, I had a little fun with it."

"Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? Vaggie stands up, "Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's gonna wanna come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time."

Angel Dust raises his hand from the couch, catching everyone's attention.

"What?" Vaggie asks, annoyed.

"If you're filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrities you have right here?" Angel pulls you into a side hug as he references the both of you.

"Angel, the two of you are porn stars."

"Two famous porn stars, we'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in."

You nod, "'specially if both of us are in it."

"We are not filming a porn as a commercial," Vaggie glares at the two of you.

"Why not? Sex sells don't it? I swear if you film the two of us going at it with Mr. fancy talk creepy voice here, you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."

Alastor appears behind you and Angel's couch, "Ha ha. Never going to happen."

 "Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way." Charlie says awkwardly.

 "Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity." Angel laughs. "Oh, I got the legs. The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits."

Charlie chuckles nervously until Charlie's phone rings from Lucifer. "Hold that thought! I'll be right back."

"I could keep going all night, baby. Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?" Angel asks.

"Oh, trust me," he smiles in a mischievously creepy way, "I can."

"Why do you think I'm here?" Husk joins the conversation, "You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?"